Unknown userMember
All in my head (fake illness))
As long as I can remember I've always thought any illness I heard about I had.
At a young age if 7 my first memory I heard about aids and really had zero clue how you got it except if you got it you died. I asked an adult and obviously they aren't ready to have the bees and bird talk with me and they said you would get it from dirty things. So omg I sleept in someone else's bed sheets at a sleep over I must have aids because I don't know how clean they are. I would spend every night crying and saying to myself if I don't vomit in 2 weeks I don't have it. So I spend nights freaking out and crying.
This has trickled to my adult hood. I can not watch one doctor show. Omg they are the worse. I went through a season of Google doctor I made my self so sick with panic I lost 15 kg in two months from being violently ill. Then in my mid teens I started getting the panic attacks and truly believing I was dying.
At the moment my bipolar is stable which means hello anxiety for me. So if I see white powder on the road I run away from it being a forgine item. If I smell something funny I stop breathing as I think it's a toxic gas.
Last night I put out a mini bin fire because it was lit due to a cigarette. Now I'm believing the smoke is toxic and I'm going to be ill with a lung problem in the next week. So I'm now on V and giving myself the rules if I don't cough I'm fine.
Does anyone else suffer from this badly?
Like I know it's stupid I can say that but my pariond side won't budge. I'm really over it. Anyone got healthy ways to get ove it?
At a young age if 7 my first memory I heard about aids and really had zero clue how you got it except if you got it you died. I asked an adult and obviously they aren't ready to have the bees and bird talk with me and they said you would get it from dirty things. So omg I sleept in someone else's bed sheets at a sleep over I must have aids because I don't know how clean they are. I would spend every night crying and saying to myself if I don't vomit in 2 weeks I don't have it. So I spend nights freaking out and crying.
This has trickled to my adult hood. I can not watch one doctor show. Omg they are the worse. I went through a season of Google doctor I made my self so sick with panic I lost 15 kg in two months from being violently ill. Then in my mid teens I started getting the panic attacks and truly believing I was dying.
At the moment my bipolar is stable which means hello anxiety for me. So if I see white powder on the road I run away from it being a forgine item. If I smell something funny I stop breathing as I think it's a toxic gas.
Last night I put out a mini bin fire because it was lit due to a cigarette. Now I'm believing the smoke is toxic and I'm going to be ill with a lung problem in the next week. So I'm now on V and giving myself the rules if I don't cough I'm fine.
Does anyone else suffer from this badly?
Like I know it's stupid I can say that but my pariond side won't budge. I'm really over it. Anyone got healthy ways to get ove it?
