Not in a good place right now.

The Road Less Travelled is an amzing book - I've read it but when I did I felt it would be more appropriate to care givers.

Some of the subjects are close to mindfulness which - through alot of practice - I am able to do now.

And here we go again - just when you think things can't get any worse they have - i still haven't seen my psych about my thought blocking, a special person in my life has just been admitted to a psych unit, her family - my relatives are all over the world working etc. I feel like I shouldn't email them to let them know but she is their mother. Their father is unwell as well - so he can't tell them. My older relatives can't tell them because they don't want to bother them.

Well, I have just emailed one - whom I grew up with and feel very close to - he's in the UK - I've asked him to come home for his Mum. No reply as yet - of course. His mum is on suicide watch. What more can I do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks ever so much for your effort. I Googled the article and have found the scholarly article by Jeremy Holmes and will read it a bit later on today. Well done

In relation to my psych team as mentioned earlier in this thread, despite my GP's advice, they did in fact close the file on me stating that I've have plans in place to keep me safe. It's total nonsense of course, but they'll do anything to be rid of me. How I wished I lived in Melbourne. Things would be different then. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. It will take another severe episode of my disorder to make then look at me again and who knows when or if that will happen!

@Ellie

Heya ellie,

i reckon, they need a good kick up the you know what, i know it is annoying and frustrating, but maybe just keep kicking until they listen? melbourne is ok, but it still has it's issues also..... i have found a couple of times i have had to really, push the point across, like hey take notice, i need better help then what you are offering, as it is, i still haven't found a group support group thing, i just get more stubborn, and keep pushing.

I hope that you don't need a more serious episode to be heard, try not to let the letdowns get to you and keep pushing forward, we are all here for you too

Thanks Kato. I'm currently doing what I can to divert my focus away from me and into more helpful things. I'm doing a DBT skills training course over two day in Melbourne on the 9th and 10th of July. My eventualy aim is to teach DBT skills to those in my area who cannot afford to pay private psychs, hence the course.

As for my MH "team," well I'm afriad I've all but given up on them. If I have a serious relapse, I'll see if I can get into Sunshine Hospital to keep me safe.

Hello @Ellie

Hope you are doing reasonably and Stabilising Yourself.

I often forget to eat or drink and when my son lived with his dad I 'd go days without and then wonder why I was lightheaded. So I have to thank kids for keeping me in the kitchen.

I had to laugh at your description of your worker. Woopedewoop so someone got a degree ... and I love studying. Compassion can be a whole lot harder.

I have acknowledged the good I have received from MH professionals but we also have to be realistic.

I was looking for help for a while, my GP would refer me, but sometimes they would stop being on my side of town and wanted me to follow them and I tried to be nice to them because I did not want their little business to suffer. Bloody silly woman I am, but in the end I gave up trying. My GP is glad, says I dont need them, and finally after 7 years I admit he is right.

I felt I had singlehandedly supported the whole counselling industry. ooops thats not rational .. but it is how I felt ..hang in there and find people that work for you.

We all need some connections. Make sure you have good health people and dig within for your own strengths.

Please save a spot for me by your fire .. I love them.

Thanks for your kind concern Appleblossom. Still far from where I should be I'm afraid, but I won't go into that as it can be triggering for others.

I'm still seeing a private psychologist once every three weeks on my MHP. That's only got three more sessions to go and then I'll have to pay her if I wish to continue, but now I'm only relying on a very limited income from work (one day's pay per week with holiday loading) and I'm not sure if I'm getting enough out of the sessions to make spending the extra money worthwhile. I'm not really thinking that far ahead right now.

I'm also going to see a new private psychiatrist, but I can't get an appointment until Sept 3rd. He's currently on holidays and booked out for months too. I don't really know what I want of him. Perhaps just someone to actually listen, unlike the public MH so called "team!"

Anyway, I hope you and everyone else on the forum is doing ok or at least hanging in there. I do read all the new posts, but currently don't feel exactly like a literary genius if you know what I mean

Kind regards,

Ellie.

Dearest @Ellie

You sbould see the glimmer of a smile on my face.......

Actually, i am pleased i had an excuse to contact my old Psychotherapist....im going to see her next week because i want some questions clarified about my Dad.

Please get in touch ahen you have read Jeremy Holmes because would like very much how you felt.

What Does feel weird is your ol dsupport team' .'s.' An example of a Psych team cutting corners.

What to do?

My suggestion. ......as usual, is to be proactive.

Unfortunately though this can be exhausting.Time zapping.

If you can, if you have time and energy...can you?

Would i be too interfering if i wrote down some suggestions?

So im writing note form.....

I am writing of myself and your incompetant conclusion to service. The time and days that were allotted to me were......

1; lack communication.

2; no support shown to me in

1: symptoms.

2: no interest in the immediate community around me and other services / places i can access.

3: standard of service: frequent changes of carers : not staying required time.

4: bad experiences in personalities though too vulnerable ........

I am a woman showing

1

2

3

4

The Psychiatrist allotted to me showed me no tactics to manage and help control my symptoms. My symptoms i have researched and am.........

I have not been shown .......

Your team of

3 Proffessionals

2 carers

4 weekly appiontments.

5. Offered a w4 hr call in service.

I have been left feeling..........

Anyway @Ellie you are a worthwhile human who is working hard for change. My suggestion is to keep it very short and sharp and punchy.

Remem ber: info of service shared.

Assessment of you life needs

Coordinators showing proper empathy

Peer support Care

A care plan.

This is what i think at least,

From ja47yr

Thanks so much JA47Yr. I promise I will read Jeremy Holmes and report back. I've just been sooo flat lately. I sleep way too late and spend the rest of the day either sitting on the computer bored out of my skull, or laying in front of the fire, which may sound nice, but not the way my head is at present. I don't sleep there. I just lay and with all these thoughts racing around in my head like a tornado. My head is so busy it's like I'm standing in a crowded bar. I have a friend coming up to stay the night Saturday and he may get me enthused enough to go out and do some burning off or whatever, but I'm just not up to wanting people in my life right now and I'm not sure how it will go.

Thanks for the tips for writing to the psych team too. I have to give it serious consideration as to proceed with a complaint or not as I still work for them technically. The chances of me ever going back once my extended holidays are over is a matter yet to be seen, but I'm leaning towards using up all my long service and then resigning. I'm no use to my MH clients the way I am. More than once when I was working I almost burst into tears in front of a client whom I connected deeply with. I'd have to be the softest psych nurse in the world LOL!!

Thanks again anyway. I will give your psych team complaint proposal some thought.

Ellie.

@Ellie

No worries posting. I just heard you showing restraint and concern for others. Sometimes we are triggered in different ways but it is hard to predict what the actual responses will be. So what does triggering others mean.

I always minimised my position because my younger siblings were always in more need, but that did not mean we do not have legitmate needs, even if they dont seem as huge. I am still big sisterly and notice when people drop off.

Sometimes when I have a tornado inside me, I run, I shout into the wilderness, I type like a maniac, or play piano. have you found any creative ways to harness your energy?

Not sure where you "should" be, we are where we are.

Have fun with your visitor.

@PeppiPatty

You are at it again you lovely lady and so assertive and clear.