hello @JoJo99
Firstly please let me say how much strength and courage that would have taken to write your thoughts and even more so start your own thread.
You probably dont realise, as you are feeling so drained, the very act of starting this conversation is a powerful move on your part. Be proud.
You have for the most of your life only known the role of caring. When I say the role of caring that does not even come close to describe how much of your very essence has been taken up in caring for not just one person but one after another, more than one at any given time. I have read about these situations but never had the opportunity to respond to someone.
So please forgive me if anything I say makes you upset. I am astounded by your unselfish actions.
You have in providing so much care perhaps overlooked self care. I put my hand up to that too, overlooking self care.
Now you find yourself at a time in your life where you are no longer in that role and I am imagining feeling quite bewildered, unsure of yourself and uncertain how to go about living your own life day to day.
You mention that your daughter has been living on her own for two years. Your daughter has an intellectual disability, depression and anxiety. How is she managing living on her own? Is she having a quality of life that she is happy with? These are questions I ask myself about my own son. As much as I would love to nurture him as a little boy he is an adult now. Living on his own is a new experience for him even though he is now 37years old. In the eyes of some, this would be seen as my being selfish. However, I believe that I am being kind, I am considering his needs not mine and it is so important for my son to have self respect, dignity and to be able to have a quality of life measured in his eyes not mine. Do you understand a parallel there? I am still here for him.
You too can still be there for your daughter whether she lives with you or not.
I believe that you are at a time in your life where you are the person who needs to be put first. You would benefit greatly from some advice on how to have a better quality of life for yourself. A psychologist could help you with this.
A referral for a psychologist can be obtained by booking a double appointment with your doctor. You can explain to your doctor that you feel you need some counselling as you are struggling. Your doctor may already know your history. Your doctor can assist you in this matter. There are health plans available paid by medicare therefore no cost to yourself. Please consider this for you as the psychologist can be of great value to you and also let you know what other help and options can be made available for you.
You have done so much for others for the majority of your life to date please take this opportunity to help yourself as hard as it might seem. I have not been in a situation like you however I have given so much of myself and struggled with my own mental illnesses. I know that counselling does help.
You will not be letting your daughter down. You will be showing your daughter that you have the strength and wisdom to look after yourself so that you both can share some wonderful times together moving forward in your lives.
please keep on writing on here. vent , rant, let out as much as you have the need to. you are safe on here. very confidential and no judgements. you will meet some extremely strong people on both sides of the forums, carers and lived experience. you will be listened to and respected.
