is depression catchy?

Hi @Appleblossom

Thank you for your post. Meditation and mindfulness seem to be big factors on the road to getting well again. I will need to look into that some more and find ways to try to incorporate some of that into my day. Lately I have been listening to an app that just has rain and thunder sounds. It's so peaceful. I wouldn't call it a meditation session but it is really helping me have 10-15 minutes of calm time before lights out at the end of the day.

I suppose I have lost my positive past self. How it happened I don't know. I think over a period of months it just kept creeping up on me and I didn't notice early enough what was going on, to my detriment at where I am now. I don't know yet how to gain back what I have lost. I'm hanging in there but barely sometimes. Putting the pieces back together is something I'm trying to work on. It's going to be a slow process but I'm willing to put in the hard work.

I think this whole experience is going to change forever the person that I used to be but if I can get well and if I learn some important things from this experience then that wouldn't be such a bad thing I suppose. Lately I have been questioning a lot of things as to their importance in my life and whether they are bringing me any happiness. I think I will be making some changes down the track when I get stronger. All in good time though. I'm trying not to rush anything I do for now (an old bad habit of mine).

@Linmerc@Kiera80

I agree Linmerc is so positive. Having meaning helps a lot. But a light-hearted telling bad thoughts to "piss off" is so hilarious it makes me laugh. Thanks. I have such training not to speak in a rough way from my mother, god luv her, that I forget the good things that come from that style of talking.

Recently i greeted a tradie with "ya bastard" nice and cheerful cos he got me out of bed, but it just made our interaction all jokey and pleasant. Everything has its place. These are new traits for me as I grew up in a very rough neighbourhood and had my head kicked in as a kid by a girl gang, and tried very hard to not be like that.

I am ok about going slow

So we can blend beautiful music with earthy humour. all for good healing

Sharonna - I am new to this forum and having read your original post, I felt as if you were describing my life and felt so much empathy for you. Like yourself and as my post name suggests, I have always been the bubbly one, one that has always been able to see a bright side. My situation is with my husband however. I read as post that related to being a sailor on a ship - choose those who don't sink the ship but one who put's wind in your sail's - sounds so simple and wise however, my husband is the one who puts wind in my sail's (but will so often also sink the ship). I am a full time worker and work is an escape from homelife - as stressfull as work can be it is much easier to deal with than a loved one suffering MI/depression who finds it almost impossible to see a bright side to anything and is completely dependant upon me for his direction in life and happiness. I have tried to get him to find an interest and a hobby, through his slide downhill he has become obese (couch potatoe most days) which again then makes most things more difficult for him to do. I feel overwhelmed when he makes statements to me "Your my reason to live" "Your happiness is my happiness" "If you died tomorrow I would follow myself the same day as I would have no reason to live" And at times when he is suicidal I am fearfull that he would not just do something to himself. I have gone from someone who has not ever felt real depression, just momentary sadness at times, to someone who feels the dark side quite often and have sometimes in moments of weakness, said to myself and my husband "bring it on - don't threaten it" because I have felt so overwhelmed and exhausted - exhausted is the most encompassing word - exhausted physically and emotionally and interlectually - it is only my "bright side" that for the moment, continues to shine through, though ever so faintly at times, but still gets me through at present. I read the posts that referred to "Co-dependant no more and boundaries in marriages" and seem as thought they could be an interesting read. I am not stupid and realise that there are unhealty dependancies in my relationship - but again, when you are talking about the one who does put the wind in your sail's, it is very hard to make decisions that may remove or threaten the wind in your sails. For that wind is like the bright side at times, and takes you sailing places that you have never dreamed of.

Hi @Linmerc

Much appreciate you checking in to see how I am. I have had a few positives since our last conversation.

One is that I have realised that something has to give if I'm going to get things sorted out so I've been narrowing my focus on some of the main things that have been giving me a lot of grief. I think that you can get so caught up in the bad stuff that it becomes a normal way of living. I'm trying to make some changes and prioritise what I need to work most on. I am getting so sick of feeling bad all the time. Every now and then something will tick me off so much that I just say enough is enough is enough already!!!

I have started meditation sessions before going to bed. I plan on sticking with doing this every day from now on. No ifs or buts.

In the past few days I have been purposefully changing some of my thoughts, in that when something bad pops into my head I am consciously deciding to think of something more pleasant. Cute, furry, baby mice are featuring prominently, lol. Not sure why I have picked mice, it just is what it is and I'm going with it.

It's not super easy but it's slowly working. It has made me realise just how much negativity is in my daily thoughts. I'm proud of my efforts so far and I intend to keep working hard on this.

I'm off to see my counsellor tomorrow night so will get to discuss the grief issue and a few other things. Hopefully it's going to be productive.

Wishing you an awesome day and yes, I am trying to stay strong.

Cute furry baby mice might make their way into my thoughts too. Thank you both for letting us watch your conversation on the edges

Hi @Linmerc

I shy away from acknowledging that any of the changes I'm making are amazing. You give me way too much credit. If I can get through the day with my sanity intact then that's a win. I am so thankful that you shared some of your story and how you manage to cope. I find that really inspiring. I have received so much good advice from people here in the forums and I am trying lots of various things so see what works and what doesn't for me. Every little bit helps. Sometimes someone will say something that I haven't thought of and then I get a light bulb moment and ask myself if I could do that too.

You make a good point in mentioning that it's easy to get overwhelmed. I have felt like that so many times and that's usually when I just have a good cry session to get it out of my system. I will try to keep my focus on one thing at a time and see if I can find a way to deal with it. My problem is that I think everything needs to be fixed right here, right now and God knows that just doesn't work. Banging my head against a brick wall would be more productive. Sigh!

I'm thinking of booking in a weeks holiday later in the year and go somewhere warm and sunny to recharge and relax. My priorities will be swim, eat, lie under a palm tree......and repeat until the sun goes down. Such a nice thought.

Everyone can be depressed at times, especailly we are all human beings. It is only normal to cry at times when we need to release the stress we have been feeling. Most important, we don't get cling to the thing we cannot change at instant. We must learn to separate in between helping others and facing your reality of living.

Definately, depression nowadays is very normal. Just like cancer and diabetic. At the time of facing it in early stage, you might not be able to handle it well, but, eventually, when you come to understanding of a person with MS, you will learn more about the person eventually and understand the tactics of controlling him or her.

Importantly speaking, patience and understanding can run a smooth road for the carer. Just don't forget, we can't deal with them in a constant to change the whole situation into a better way. Only time and their own realisation can help them to release their own problems. This is the only thing we can't do it for them.

Relaxe yourself at times, shop around, go out with friends, talk about it but don't drag into the mess for long period of time. That way, you will find more strength in facing this situation. Time for you to relaxe for a longer run in future.

Take care. Hope this help.

From lostfound