is depression catchy?

Hi @Linmerc

I am amazed at your strength in not allowing yourself to get to the low points and not letting your 'dark visitor' come into your life any more. Were you able to do this because you had just had enough with feeling bad all the time or was it something else that helped you to cope in this way?

My baby girl also died due to kidney failure. It was such a shock at the time because she was so healthy and happy and it all went downhill so rapidly. My vet told me the kindest thing I could do was put her to sleep. I made that decision and one day she was still with me and the next she was gone. I came to the realisation the other day that I have not allowed myself the time to grieve properly for her and I need to find a way to do that. Not dealing with her loss has probably added to my anxiety. When I think of her I still find myself sobbing my heart out.

You are right when you say that my headspace is not in the right place. That sounds about right. Maybe that's why I still feel like I'm drowning even though I'm doing all the right things to feel better.

Hi @Linmerc

Thank you so much for your kind words. You have made me feel a bit more uplifted today.

I sometimes feel the way you do in that I get so sick and tired of feeling down and out. I just haven't found enough strength to consciously drag myself out of it. You are right, it doesn't accomplish much does it?

I have made another appointment with my counsellor who I haven't seen for a little while now. Hopefully we can cover some of the grief issues and I can get some more clarity in dealing with this.

I am very blessed because I have another dog at home and she is a wonderful companion. When I'm sad she comes and licks my face and lets me give her lots of cuddles. I'd be even more lost if I didn't have her. Her love is unconditional. In the past few months though I have found that I'm relying on her too much to fill the void of the dog I lost and I know that's not right. Once I have dealt with losing my other dog hopefully my dependence on her will lessen and I'll be okay again.

What you said about changing your thoughts sounds pretty important. I'd love to get some examples from you if you have the time. I have learnt that thoughts are just things that come and go in your mind and you can choose to pay attention to them or let them go. I'm not really good at doing that because I second guess myself a lot. I suppose that takes practice too.

Thank you for your virtual hugs, I hope you have a really good day.

@Kiera80

I started meditation and mindfulness practice 30 years ago and though i dont do it twice a day any more it is a big part of who I see myself as and I can return to meditative states, though not in turbulent times.

I was struck by your sense of loss of your positive past self. After my marriage, I found it difficult to reconnect with my positive self and lived through a very very long dark night of the soul, but eventually did find my old self. It is never purely a going back as we integrate and move on with our experience.

Dont we love our animals. I am lucky my two hairy friends hung in there for me and have been my main companions on that soul journey. They are 14 now.

Hang in there for you.

Sharonna: my heart broke reading your message. I suppose mostly, your comments simply resonated with my own experience...the detached, angry child; the mother always the object of blame; the faulty logic; the disconnection. I don't know that it's the depression that is catching, so much as the weight of the sadness and the injustice that becomes all-encompassing. I've dealt with it by going back to my support group, ARAFMI, and by putting some distance between me and my son during those bad sessions - as hard as that is, too. I've asked him to go to a respite at times; I've taken myself away for several long weekends; and emotionally, I've just had to toughen up and endure the lonely distance between myself and someone I love dearly. Still, it's awfully hard and massively sad. Hang in there, Sharonna. You are a good person. I was once told something that I fall back on, by a psychiatrist during a very tough and forced admission to hospital for my son...I had not met this doctor before....he said that in spite of what my son said or did, he had already suffered huge loss by having a mental illness - "he can't afford to lose you," was how he ended his talk. I've never forgotten it. That one statement continues to resonate with me years later, and gives me strength to go on when I sometimes feel I have nothing left. Final note...please choose very carefully those who you confide in...really, no matter how close they might be to you, it's hard for many people to really understand, with empathy, what we are going through. Go to a support group and keep your friends and family separate.

wise advice

People are just scared and dont know what to do. It is just too hard for many but we dont have the option to drop the ball for those we love.

@Linmerc I love your positive outlook. So motivational.

Hi @Linmerc

I agree with @CherryBomb, your outlook is incredibly positive and I feel better when reading your posts. It gives me some hope that there can be light at the end of the tunnel.

I have an app on my phone that is for mindful meditation but I haven't used it that much. Maybe I better do.

I have been trying to do more positive things and things that I think I will enjoy. What I find strange is that some of the things I used to love I just don't like anymore or struggle to do. Reading is one of those things. I used to read every night before going to bed and I can't pick up a book now. I don't know if it's just the concentration that I don't have or if I get put off with something negative that might be in a book. I really miss it.

I had a night out with a girlfriend a few weeks ago who I hadn't seen for a while and we had such an awesome time together. I laughed a lot which I haven't done for so long and it felt really good to have that release.

I like your idea of telling a negative thought to p...off. That's a good idea. I might try that next time the gloomies come to visit me. I will try to follow your lead in letting the bad stuff go.

Deep breathing I find to be helpful when I get too over stressed. It especially helped when I had the panic attacks which haven't happened for a little while now thank goodness. I should do it way more often just as a matter of course throughout my day.

Thank you so much for your tips. I'm not a huge biscuit eater but I'm a total sucker for m&ms and I always have to have a supply of those, lol.

Will give my pooch a big smooch. She'll love it.