Safety

@Eden1919I am glad you are being distracted. I know you fear seeing your caseworker, but from what I have read each time you see her everything kind of works out. Try to breathe through your anxiety, and perhaps write a list of things you want to mention. Where is bunny and dog tonight?

@Sans911 the distractions are not working and with my cseworker it doesnt always work out like normally it is me trying to assure her i dont need to see a doctor or go to the hospital the whole time but i am not sure how much longer i can do that for she already said well tht wont make sense but it seems like it is only a matter of time and i am so scared i am really getting more and more sure that someone is trying to poison me and i dont know what to do. ugh this is a mess i am sorry.

I really dont know what to do anymore I cant seem to make this work i am trying so hard but is like i am taking one step forward and two steps back. i want to cry but i cant and i just feel like i cant do this anymore.

i dont know what to do.

@Eden1919-what other things help you at this point? What does your management/safety plan guide you to do. How else can I help you? Is there something you want to talk about aside from whats going on? I

I am sorry I don't know you as well as @Zoe7 or others in this forum, so I need you to help me understand how I can help you with this distress you have. I feel so helpless seeing you like this

@Sans911 nothing seems to help that is half the problem please do not feel bad because you cant help me that is not your responsblity and i dont want anyone feeling helpless because of me. because i know that is an awful feeling to have. i think maybe this time there is not going to be anything that will help. all i need from people here is a listening ear i am trying to just take it hour by hour atm and even that is a struggle. i dont feel any hope anymore and what is worse in a way is that i am ok with not feeling hope. i feel like things are just going to happen a certain way and that is just it. but it is no one elses responsibility or fault for how i am feeling. thankyou for being so caring really it is much appreiciated but i dont want to be any kind of burden on you.

@Eden1919Firstly, you are NEVER a burden to me, and I am sure others here in this forum feel exactly the same way.I only feel helpless because I want to take all your hurt and pain away for you so that you can get on with life and feel like you have hope. I don't feel awful about it, just sad ( which is how I am feeling regardless right now). That is such a hard thing to have to deal with isn't it? To have no hope, and you need to not be ok with it. But I understand that for you that it is a hard thing to grasp or even see at this time. You have been rolling with the punches for some time now, haven't you so I can understand why you can't see too far ahead.

I am often thinking of you and others on this site Eden, who despite their own battles and demons, they can reach out to others and be there for them. That's a really remarkable thing to do.

So I will continue to care about you, I wil always have hope for you that life might be better, that I will see a day your posts are a little brighter. And I'm here to listen when you need me to.

'i dont feel any hope anymore and what is worse in a way is that i am ok with not feeling hope.i feel like things are just going to happen a certain way and that is just it'

@Sans911 I am just really done with everything atm like i can hardly function and I am trying so hard but for what nothing thats what i have no future and nothing to look forward to and ugh i just cant keep doing this much longer.