Safety

hi @Eden1919 patting dog is a great thing to do - pets are great to feel a little comfort and love.

@Sans911 rest and sleep are where the problems begin. As soon as I closr my eyes I have flashbacks or nightmares if I actuslly get to sleep - it is a very complicated situation. The meds are startinf to work now but I am trying to fight through the sleepiness becaue my mind is racing (yet again) and I know that it will not ne a good night. I'm so very tired of this.

@Zoe7 I hope you got some sleep sorry i just left before my internet was being imposible anyway how are you today?

I saw my psychologist it did not go well because he asked about the exact thing i couldnt talk about and now he wants to talk about it even more and really get into details about it. ugh i am doomed.

No need to be sorry @Eden1919 - nights are hard for us and I get it (even if it wasn't dodgy internet!)

I don't think you are doomed. You were very scared of seeing your psychologist today and what you may have to divulge but it seems that although you did have to talk a little about this you still got through it ok. It seems to me that although your psychologist wants to explore it more maybe this is in order to gain a better perspective of what you are daling with in order to be able to provide you with the support and help you need - I do see this as a positive for you.

One of your fears of people knowing is also being made go to hospital - and that hasn;t happened either - so another positive.

Strength, courage, belief - hold onto these - I know you can...

Zoe

i get that i havent gone to hospital yet but it has been threatened and i have only not gone because i didnt tell anyone the stuff. anyway maybe i am just being pesimistic or something but i just i get the distinct feeling things are heading in that direction if i dont "improve" which i am held to their ridiculous standards and uhg i am not going to start another rant but i dont know what to do anymore you see actually no i cant say that ugh well anyway the point to all of this is i am doomed i really am and i cant stop it from happening.

I really don't know what to say @Eden1919 All I can do is continue to be here for you - to listen and to sit with you when you need it. I get this is a very tough situation for you and you do not know what the outcome(s) will be but I am here for you whatever happens.

Zoe

@Zoe7 Thanks.

I am not doing well tonight at all i am really scared and stressed and i keep hearing things and there is too much noise and i want to scream and my head wont stop and everything is going too fast and slow at the same time and i am really agitated and i cant mae it stop. i keep screwing up and now i dont know if i can keep a promise and i have to do something but i cant say what and if my psychiatrist finds out about any of this i am done for. and they will hurt me and i really dont know what to do anymore i cant settle and i feel really destructive and i dont know i feel really lost and i cant there is too much in my head and i dont know how to keep doing this and i cant ugh it wont stop nd they wont leve me alone and i cant take this much longer.

Just breathe @Eden1919 - concentrate on the air in and the air out.

@Zoe7 I am breathing. i am just really revved up and i dont even know how to explain it