Safety

@Eden1919 My appointment went quite well.

I hope you are doing a little better this afternoon. Remember on days like these we take it minute by minute and hour by hour to get through - don't look too far ahead and try to not worry about tomorrow as it hasn't happened yet buddy. I know it really scares you and it is really difficult to not think the worst but getting through today is all you need to do for now.

Zoe

i am trying i am just getting really worried that if the team finds out they will want me to get assessed at the hospital or something and i cant go there right now there is too much going on and i dont trust the doctors there at all. it is complicated i just i really dont know what to do.

I have a fear of hospitals too @Eden1919 but I am so very lucky to have a GP, psychiatrist and psychologist that really understand that being in hospital would actually be worse for me.

Please keep trying to put tomorrow out of your mind for now. I am sorry I am not being much help at the moment - I am a little 'lost' myself. Even though my appointment went well it does still affect me - so sorry if I don't have much 'to give' you right now.

Just know I am thinking of you and want you to be safe...

Zoe

That's ok i understand that appointments can be really draining. i had DBT tonight so i am a little off as well i am really trying to ignore tomorrow but i am scared i just dont know what to do if i get taken there i think i will loose it ugh this is too much of a problem.

@Eden1919 I am hanging out in TOR tonight if you would like to join in. Storm and Lapses are around to - maybe we could look at how your corner decorations are going

i dont know if i should write them a note or not but i also just want to lie to them then they cant hurt me but if they ask then ugh this is a mess.

Maybe write in down @Eden1919 and don't volunteer any information until you are asked. Then you can give them what is written then. This might make it a little clearer without you getting too stressed by talking and saying something that you may not mean when you are really anxious.

maybe that will work it is just really hard and i feel awful i dont trust any of them but i am scared i will end up in hospital anyway even if i dont tell them.

You mistrust of everyone in the team would certainly be adding to your fears @Eden1919 Try to keep yourself as composed as you can tomorrow. Slow, deep breathes buddy. You are an intelligent woman so I am sure you are able to 'read' their body language as well as recognise when they are becoming defensive so work with that by being calm and direct but not volunteering anymore than is asked for. This will show you as more confident than you are and more composed than scared. You got this Eden - strength, courage, belief

i suppose. i just hope i can pull it off.