Safety

No worries buddy It's nice chatting to you too. You are really starting to talk more about what is happening for you and I am honoured that you are placing trust in me to do this. I hope you can feel a little more inner peace tonight now. I'll try to check in with you again tomorrow @Eden1919

Zoe

I dont feel good i feel really weird my head is all over the place i dont feel right i want to cry and i am really scared. i am trying really hard but everything hurts and i really dont know what to believe anymore.

All you need to believe in for now is yourself @Eden1919 - nothing else matters but keeping yourself safe. Thinking of you buddy...

Zoe

it is just really hard right now everything is falling out from underneath me and i have nothing to hold onto i am scared cause i dont know if i can keep taking my medications something is pulling at me pulling me to stop them i cant explain it i dont feel right and there is something else inside me and i just i want to scream i cant make it stop but then if i stop the medications i will get in trouble ugh i cant i dont know what to do.

I hear your struggles @Eden1919 but please don't stop taking your mediucation as suddenly stopping can have much greater side effects. I know you feel like everyone and everything wants to hurt you but I know that I for one certainly don't, nor do other people on the forum. If you can take any consolation out of that then please hold on to that.

The feelings you have are from your fears and paranoia - we both know this - even though it doesn't help to make you feel any better. When you are so consumed by these feelings it is no wonder you do not feel 'right'. This is one of those nights when we 'just get through' and worry about everything else and the rest of the world later. Minute by minute, hour by hour is our mantra for tonight buddy.

Zoe

i am trying not to think about it but i cant stop my head it is so full of stuff and it wont stop there is so much going on and i need to get out but i cant. i just dont know what to do anymore i want to scream.

Scream if you need to @Eden1919 If it helps - write everything that is going on in your head down so that you move it from your 'headspace' to a more physical space in front of you. This can often help you gain a little distance from your thoughts and feelings and see exactly what is going on in your mind from a different perspective. Don't worry about any order or structure when writing, it is solely about moving those thoughts and feelings from the jumble in your head for now.

Hi @Eden1919

I get like that where my head is so full of stuff that its overwhelming. Its not a nice place. I'm not always able to take on advice or be able to do much more than just feel frozen with it all, but when or if i can get myself moving it tends to help slow it down. Even if its folding washing, or doing the dishes, when i'm able to move physically to do something it really does help. But also know that sometimes even doing that can be too hard in the middle of it all.

take care

lj

i just ugh i am not angry at anyone i am just angry not angry frustrated maybe ugh i cant there is too much like my head is not mine and this has happened before and the outcome was not good i dont think the meds are helping anyway they are going to hurt me the medications are poison to the mind and body and i need to get them out and i cant trust the doctors and i have too much to do and i am cursed and Satan wants my soul and i need to get out of this world this world isnt safe and i cant think straight everything is all muddled and i dont know what to do i cant explain it there is too much noise and i need to find and way to get away from them but what am i supposed to do about the other thing how can i fix that i should i just say he is one of them but now all i want is to get them out and there is someone else inside my body like i am possesed only different .........