Safety

Hi @Eden1919 I am around for a little while tonight if you want to talk. Sorry I haven't been around much the last few days but you seem to have had some good company.

Hi @Zoe7 how are you?

I just really dont know what to do some things have started to happen with me and i dont want to tell my treatment team because i am scared of what they will do but i am scared if i dont they will find out anyway. and i am scared that if they find out they will do something to me and then i just i am really scared but keeping all this inside is getting really hard but they could hurt me if they know and then ugh this is a mess.

@Eden1919 I have a swollen face and itchy chest, back neck and face - a reaction between the anaesthetic at the dentist and one of my meds - but other than being frustrated and having to constantly cool off to help with the itching - I am keeping my head above water (it is quite swollen so that may be adding to the flotation lol)

Are you talking about self harm starting with you @Eden1919 or something else?

@Zoe7 I hope the swelling goes down soon.

i mean that i have started to realise things that i dont think my treatment team will like. it is just that well it is complicated but i have serious doubts that i am from this world i dont mean i am an alien but i am not meant to be here and i am cursed because i am a fallen angel of sorts and there is still someone after me and it is hard because i think the medication is actually going to hurt me not help and there is more but i dont want my doctors to know because they will not believe me and they will possibly hurt me. i dont know what to do.

This is what I believe @Eden1919 - everyone of us is from this world and not from this world - how people interpret that is up to what each individual believes. I do not believe in God but I don NOT believe in God - that is to say that I believe that there is some other 'force' apart from ourselves but there is no 'label'that I can put on it. For some this may be what they receive through their religion, for others it may be psychics, for others it may be a feeling that they have been here before etc. Just because we all believe in something different does not mean that we are right or wrong - it just is!

If infact you are 'stuck' between this world and another then I believe you are here for a reason therefore you are meant to be here

This may actually be a shelter from the person that is after you as they may not be able to see both worlds and the protection this gives you.

I do think it is really important that your doctors/team know how you are feeling - they cannot help you sufficiently if they do not have all the facts. This can also then help with what medication you are prescribed. The medication will only hurt you if it is not right for you - that is why your team need to know what is going on for you. I know this is a really, really hard thing for you to comtemplate - and you have many fears around trusting anyone with anything but you have begun here by trusting me (and others on here) and that is a huge step for you.

What else do you not want to tell your doctors - only if you want to say!

Zoe

i dont want to tell them that Satan cursed me which is why God wont talk to me anymore and that Satan wants to take my soul and he has a demon following me and that i know what the medication really does and it is just there to stop me from seeing the truth and being able to access things.(i am psychic) and also some other stuff that is hard to explain. they just cant know or they will hurt me and i want to stop taking my meds so i can get it back but i am scared of what they will do if i did stop taking it and ugh i am so i just dont know what to do anymore

You need to weigh up the benefits and consequences of both taking and not taking your meds and telling or not telling them what is happening for you @Eden1919 What is clear is that you are lost and confused at the moment about so much happening for you and you do need the ongoing support to help you get through this. I can only imagine how scary it is for you to be in this 'place' and not know what to do or where to turn for help. In what way do you think they will hurt you Eden - mentally, physically or both?

Both i think they will want to give me more medicine to try and stop me but that is bad because then that will be hurting me the problem is i promised to tell them if i couldnt take the medication and i always keep my promises but this one is dangerous the medication is poison and i dont know what to do it would be safer if i dont tell them anything and because the doctors i think are being influenced by Satan and i think he is trying to send someone to hurt me badly and i just really dont trust the doctors it is complicated.

I get it @Eden1919 You feel stuck between a rock and a hard place and do not trust those that are dealing with your health. I do know that feeling of not trusting and understand it is complicated for you but the doctors know about these things so much better than we do and are there to help. I would find it difficult if I was in your position too but maybe the new medicine will be more help to you than hurt you - Sometimes we just need to believe something will help in order for it to actually help.

I am probably not helping you much here Eden but I do care about you and want you to be ok

you are helping @Zoe7. i am really not sure what to do though because if i did tell them what if they said i had to go to the hospital or something that would be terrible plus the medicines really will hurt me. ugh this is so confusing and frustrating i dont know what to do.