do helplines really help?

@Neb I just wanted to let you know that I've read your post and I share your sentiments. Most of the muddle in my life now is due to trauma I have experienced IN the mental health system, rather than the events that brought me into contact with the system in the first place. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in the experiences that you have had.

hello all

I have heard others say that they have had bad experiences, or minimal help from helplines, lifeline for one.

I have used lifeline over the years and would have to say have had good and not so good experiences. When I had the not so good experience; I still really needed the "lifeline" I rang back, on that occasion I had someone who listened well, and I felt safe with.

That is an important point we need to feel safe with the person we are talking to. We also need to give the person on the other end of the phone an opportunity to listen and hear what is bothering us most at that time causing us to ring.

Yes, hearing do you feel like harming yourself can be annoying. However, think outside of the square. If you were a person who was on the edge of rationality, not wanting to live anymore, feeling as though the whole world has given up and everyone would be so much better off without you ...if that was someone important to you would you be glad that they were asked that question? Volunteers and some paid staff man those telephones. They can only gleam an idea of what is happening from what a person tells them. Some go about it better than others. Also in real life there are people who irritate us yet dont others and vice versa.

So for me. If I am in a very deep, dark place and someone asks that question I am glad. I can talk about those thoughts and feel that I have been listened to, heard.

I like knowing that lifeline is there and can save someone.

They saved me.

Hello @Former-Member we have similar circumstances but I was just reading your post about how anti depressants don't help you, and that you have continuing stressors, its a bit off topic of this thread and I don't want to seem a pill pusher but depending on the type of depression you have, melancholic/non melancholic, medication can provide good help and for melancholic depression meds are known to work better than psychology and can help you cope with continueing stressors, you may have already tried many meds but if not under the supervision of a psychiatrist, it is unlikely that the many available types/combinations have been tried as GP's have little experience with them and are notoriously bad at mental health management in my experience, my last GP told me to bring my mum in and he will teach her how to motivate me, ridiculous. yes they can have side effects but so does your mental illness.

do you see a psychiatrist? if you could research some meds to ask them about and hopefully they don't see you as Dr google.

2 other things I find happen to me also, that is, not wanting to try new meds/methods for fear of them not working and an acceptance that after all these years this is my lot in life and I will just have to accept it, nothing can be done, (the moderators may be able to explain the psychology of that thinking) but I try to fight that and continue to look for new meds/methods, I am on one now that is very helpfull and is the only reason I can write here with some positivity. for me psychology is pointless and I have spent much time and money with it.

To link in with this thread I have found it very much depends on who you get on lifeline as to how helpful they are, some are terrible and should not be there, others and I recal one being an older lady who sounded like she had a lot of experience with mi was helpful but for me, is probably more of a distraction than providing real answers.

Mohill it all depends on the personal qualities of the person who ask questions like "Do you feel safe"As mentioned I learnt it in a course and it can sound like you are asking just because it's a procedure in Mental health First Aid.It can sound very stupid and meaningless "Are you ok?"sounds better,and more genuine.As I state it's not the qualifications but the personal attributes they bring to the client.

getbetter, we have chatted on this site before .I made big changes to my life with the assistance of being on a antidepressant and over three years with a mental health nurse who as I discussed last night ended badly.These big changes and my experiences caused severe depression for most of last year as these changes made my life worse,not better.I resisted to go back on antidepressants because I blame them in a way for changing my life putting me in a false sense of security.As mentioned before,I saw a psychiatrist 5 years ago when a reaction to antidepressants caused months of severe agitation and distressed including muscle spasms and facial ticks.

Basically yes I am negative due to my experiences a lot is wrong with my life and I am questioning if it's worth saving.I get severely distressed when I realised I'm at the end.After all the crap counseling,my anxiety the past two weeks is high as ever, especially social anxiety because I feel so inadequate,useless and a failure.We all want to know everything will be ok,but the long term impact of unemployment and mental illness is my reality when I open my eyes of a morning.I know I'm in a hole but don't believe anyone can help me if I can't.

Duggar thanks for your thoughts.

It is sad that it is not an isolated experience eh?

In my view helplines a helpful for a percentage of people.

I think they would be particularly helpful for people from rural regions who have little understanding about mental illnesses etc but for more educated people/people that are more "health savvy" or have already had numerous dealings with hospitals,G.P or Psychologists etc they are often not helpful.

I share everyone's sentiments on this thread and I feel that these helplines often take a "one size fits all" approach and there is too much focus on "crisis management" (fielding if people are suicidal and to go to E.D etc).

While this is well meaning,it is largely ineffective and there is nowhere near enough consultation done with patients/"consumers" involving them in the training of the helpline staff and what to say and what not to say.

In additional,there is too much focus on "referral providing"-ie : referring callers to other numbers to ring so they often end up in a "goose chase" of calling services who then tell them to call the other service etc and receiving no substantial help from any of the services/call centres.

Im not suggesting this can't be helpful in some instances such as Domestic violence concerns but in many other instances it's just a waste of time,and some of the helpline "workers" seem to live in their own ego bubble believing that they are providing such important help by providing "referrals" (ie : other numbers to call).

Its a bit of an insult to callers intelligence as anyone with internet access or online directory etc can find/know this for themselves.

Theres nothing wrong,of course,if callers themselves ask for referral phone numbers,then there is no issue.

Another thing I find pointless and ironic is when they state in certain news stories regarding people who have taken their own lives etc,that if anyone is having distressing feelings contact lifeline,beyond blue etc and they list the numbers below.I understand why they are saying it but at the same time it is ironic because some of these new stories will state that the person/s involved in the story had "sought help" countless times from helplines.

One example is a story about Maria Lutz and Fernando Manrique,a couple who had children with autism and who gassed themselves to death due to being overwhelmed and not receiving enough assistance.

News stories stated that Maria had desperately called helpline countless times but the media still put the "disclaimer"(and it often is a disclaimer or comes from ignorance) stating if people were distressed "help was out there" and call Beyond blue and so on.

Im not stating this to deter people from calling these lines, they have even saved some lives,but I'm stating this to highlight the huge inefficiencies in the deliverance of mental healthcare in this country.

Frankly speaking there is too little involvement from consumers or receptively listening to consumers needs and too much ego or aggressive or fear based behaviours in the deliverance of mental health "care" in AUS.

I am from a rural area Ivana and helplines are good if you want to talk to someone anonymous and in crisis when you need to talk to someone to calm you down.That should be all they do besides recommend numbers in your area as they are really only like First Aid in mental health.Most of these people are volunteers who do general basic training,some may be qualified.
There is a very narrow perspective of mental health by medical professionals etc I agree .I realise my depression can only be fixed by self worth through employment,I can talk and use up boxes of tissues and take drugs and I know it's useless.Its not a holistic approach to myproblems,or can it help me with this.

Hi @Former-Member, I can totally relate to your despair around employment. My lack of employment is my greatest source of hopelessness. I spent 12 years at university, have 2 degrees to show for it, and yet am basically unemployable due to the risk of harm I pose to myself and others in the workplace. I'm afraid I don't know what the answer is - I wish I did. I am just starting to look at how I can create a life worth living if employment is not going to be a part of my future. This is very much a work in progress for me.