do helplines really help?

@Former-Member Our stories sound similar in that I also never missed a day's work and I'm also single, no kids. I loathe being on welfare. One of my ongoing fears is that I'll get shifted from the DSP onto Newstart. I've had two major workplace incidents and I am really scared of getting forced into a situation where I experience a third. Given the nature of my muddle, I recognise that I am at risk of "death-by-cop" because the police don't handle people in crisis particularly well.

Nevertheless, having said all of that, my treatment goal with my new psychologist is to gain and sustain employment, and even though neither of us quite know how to achieve that right now, I do have a tiny bit more hope than I did during my hellish year of therapist shopping last year.

Have you had any involvement with disability employment services? I've had two horrible experiences with them.

Phoenix_Rising

Last year I lived on medical certificates because of my depression I'm on Newstart,been on it since I left employment and used up the money I had saved close to 5years ago.I got assessed and referred to a disability provider in January this year and I am happy with them even though I see only hopelessness.I have to look for 4 jobs a month .I live in a rural area,where I couldn't find and can't handle the stress of being on the job requirement of 20 jobs a month.At the moment I have been struggling the past three weeks and haven't job search.I no longer care.I wasn't "well"last Friday for my appointment with the disability provider and the girl understood when I rang and said I'm no good when I am this way.I had to go into one in January where I wasn't in a good state and she treated me like a child and told me to go to Centrelink.I wasn't impressed and nearly SC because of my state.In regard to your fear of the cops if it's a real threat and you have a good psychologist (rare at times) can you talk about having a safety plan in case perhaps a document from her.I know Police,had them for me as stated on last night's thread and another time when they put words in my mouth.I hope you find employment.I have no faith in providers I am 45 ,too old for many jobs and I have now such social anxiety it's hopeless in a small" you know who community".I can't handle pressure or when I have job interviews and sense the bitchy environment which contributed to my depression 5 years ago when I was bullied a day before my 40th birthday.

Hi @Former-Member,

Have you considered starting your own small business?

Li1.....liked your post. I would be cautious about depending on your employment to give you self esteem. It may work, but I found although I LOVED my work as a nurse, the employer was never really interested in their human resources (as in a cog, dump when broken!). Self worth comes from the inside, noone gives it to you. Having said this, it has taken me most of my life to realise this ( I am almost 60). I was shattered when I finished working before retirement....it just got too much! I hated not being able to control my exit so to speak, but life........does go on. Although I have limited means I have contentment ( a much underrated virtue) . I love the fact I dont have to deal with so many people from all backgrounds on a daily basis.

Thanks for your post Neb but in reference to the self worth in employment I have to to a extent agree with you to a extent that self worth comes from within but also disagree because employment brings you that self fulfilment that nothing else can replace.You are fortunate to be almost 60 when you retired but I was 40 when I stopped work and now 45.Im single ,and won't get involved with someone because of my situation.It comes down to our values as well.You can't help it affecting your self worth when uncertainty about your future and the retirement years if you get to it.Now I am not self sufficient,and my family have no respect for me.Plus everyone in the town I live in which are a bunch of pathetic gossips know I don't work so for me self worth is based on largely to employment that is fulfilling.I can see your point because this can be like losing weight,a unobtainable goal.

Ivana I did think about starting a cleaning business as I clean one house a fortnight,I placed a ad in the paper and got one women who wanted me to clean her stairwell walls and ceilings,had to decline as it wasn't worth the risk as I just want general cleaning and not insured.Don't think the demand is here.

Hi @Former-Member,

Sorry for the delayed response. I have my settings set such that I only get notified when someone tags me or "likes" a post.

It must be super hard as a single person living on Newstart. I can survive ok on the DSP, but I wouldn't be able to pay my mortgage if I was on Newstart.

I'm glad you've had a good experience with a disability employment agency. I am half thinking of trying again with one, now that I have a better sense of what they can (and can't!!!!) do. I can defintely relate to the idea of being treated like a child. That is one of the things that really triggers my big feelings.

Yes, I have thought about having something in writing that I can hand to police etc when I'm in crisis. It's on my to-do list. I would write it, and then just have my psychologist put it on her letterhead. I think I've mentioned that I've just finally connected with this psychologist and it definitely makes a world of difference having one person in my corner!

I have pretty much given up on the idea of a career as such, but I do still hold out hope of being able to get at least some sort of work that will bring in a bit of money and add some structure to my days.

I hope you are also able to find something @Former-Member. It is utterly absurd that people think someone is "too old" at 45. Indeed, I will be 40 in June and I know I too am in the position of being "too old." Absurd!!!

No need to apologize Phoenix Rising for not responding earlier.

You are fortunate you have a mortgage,I have nothing that's my distress.I got involved in the family farm,put my heart and money into it,family issues contributed to my illness,and the therapy with a mental health nurse and antidepressants I made the change with the hope of getting my own life and lost more of my life in the process because not one thing went right.Glad you found a good psychologist,I had one last year and in January walked out making the decision to not go back.Sometimes I come out feeling more vulnerable,and judged eg:she once accused me of not making the effort to look for work when I was.In many cases we trust these people to play God with our lives,I don't know if that's help or harm.

At the moment I can't handle the hopelessness of jobs.I have to get 4 jobs in the next two weeks,I get distressed when I get a email saying I've been "unsuccessful".Yes I have a good disability provider what they do I don't know.My anxiety at times I had illusions of someone holding a g** to my head,and walking into other job providers I would get this stress. It's something I now have no control over, the four years of therapy did wonders!Lol.

In regards to your concerns over the Police issue,this is a issue that needs to be addressed at government level and in training,and policies and procedures.The media go on about the link between terrorism and mental health,and yes,people like us could pay the price.

Ivana

Got your post,thanks for reply.In your comment to small town attitudes,I try to avoid people as much as possible,due to now my anxiety and my low self worth controlling my mind.If you want the truth I don't know if I am avoiding and running from them or running and avoiding myself.To me this keeps me safe but also I know harms me in the fight/flight response.

In regard to my own cleaning business,I don't believe the work is there and no the local paper costing 30 bucks for a ad was hopeless.I have considered putting it on gumtree.Thanks for the post.