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I have been so busy for so long now, and constantly busy and stressed about work and stuff outside of work (I'm the treasurer and a key organiser of our youth breed society). I've been feeling it creep up on me, the exhaustion and putting stuff off that I normally enjoy. Today after spending the whole weekend working at the farm (something I love and do on Sundays no matter what) I got home, showered, tea continued planning and organising a busy weekend with our breed group, before crawling into bed at 9pm. Where I've been curled up crying since. I feel so useless and miserable. I'm only working 4 days a week now, and I thought things were going well. I have next week booked off work, why can't I wait till then to have a meltdown. I don't want to chuck a sickie just coz I'm a useless mess. 😢 Sorry this is just a pity post. I need hugs, puppies and kitties... if anyone has any spare. 😜 And if someone could just press *pause* on life for a bit so I can pull myself together, that'd be wicked...
That is such great news @Crazy_Bug_Lady ! Well done you! It's amazing what a difference it can make when we go with "do it anyway" if it's something we're passionate about - even if we are sh-scared.
Glad the physio went well too - that's terrific, and a good way to include some accountability for yourself going back by making more appoinments.
Good stuff - thanks for sharing!
Kindest regards,
Kristin
In response to: Burnt Out
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Burnt Out
Hi
Awesome on your activities, especially physio appointment......I never liked being touched, when hairdressers wanted to massage my scalp I would say.....oh, you can skip that bit....... But change of medication and slow down/big cut in work......well, I let the hairdresser massage my scalp last haircut...... Timetable.....when things get hard for me like........,just lately, I get through it by having a timetable.
8-9. Coffee 9-10. Shower 11-11.30. Comb my hair 11:30 to 12:45 make bed
In response to: Burnt Out
Crazy_Bug_LadySenior Contributor
Re: Burnt Out
I hate hate hate being touched, 'specially if I can't see what's going on. So being face down on the table with my top off is terrifying. I did sorta give her a quick run-down of my fears about it all, so she talks and explains what she's doing while she's doing it. It is a bit amusing when she tells me to relax though. You've just started poking my bum, what do you expect me to do? 😜
I had to go see the doctor today. Thankfully he knows me, as it turns out the receptionist mucked up, so he came to see why I was sitting around. I got my very first Doctor's Certificate today, for the two sick days last week. He reckons the meltdown was brought about by the fact I had been so busy and had so much to do that I hadn't had a chance to *stop*, and didn't see an opportunity coming for a while. Which is what I thought... he seemed sorta pleased that I had recognised it and put a plan into action, and we're both hoping next time I'll plan *before* I have a meltdown. 😀😀
Ahh @PeppiPatty now I see what you mean. I do that more or less everyday. 😊 I write a list each day when I wake up and/or get to work. I write a list of things to do, then prioritise it and re-write it. I don't put times, I find that causes me a bit too much pressure and anxiety (particularly if I "run out of time" for a task). People at work find it odd, but I get my work done and can (usually) stay quite calm about it. So I don't care.
In response to: Re: Burnt Out
kristinSenior Contributor
Re: Burnt Out
Wow @Crazy_Bug_Lady it sounds like you are doing so well. It's great that the physio was able to hear your concerns, though she clearly doesn't understand that saying "relax" is not a magic word.
I feel the same way on a table face down. I really struggle, especially if I don't know the person/haven't been to them before. Some things I'm none too good with face up either! But I won't go there, as it might be triggering. One of those regular health things I have to make myself go to even though I have a female GP - which helps a little.
I am just enjoying reading all this lovely self-acceptance and affirmation. It is wonderful to see! They may seem like very small things, but I think they are really important and you might consider giving yourself a big pat on the back.
Kindest regards,
Kristin
In response to: Re: Burnt Out
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Burnt Out
@Crazy_Bug_Lady Your my little star.......the joke on the bum LOl. Love the slowdown.
Most know on the forums I personally didn't know what 'slow down,' was for many years..... Love the 'I don't care,' Always good to plan the next meltdown......lol
today, after much tossing and turning, I got an 8 page letter of complaint to the police about their behaviour to me. I got a restraining order on this stalker I've had and ....oh.........it's such Such a relief. I did it!! Then....I rang the police to ask what do I do that he's calling me so much,, Phew........
But @Crazy_Bug_Lady, you read confident and I read shaky
. I also got in contact with a really really good social worker I have used for in the Past. chocolate now. My neighbour brought me some over......
In response to: Burnt Out
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Burnt Out
golly gee my golly gosh Keepers kreepers See yer Later alligator My darling Buddy Eeeek Oh In a while crocodile Golly gee wow Oh no In a while Phew Crocodile
Joy.
In response to: Burnt Out
Crazy_Bug_LadySenior Contributor
Re: Burnt Out
Thanks @kristin I honestly didn't realise until today just how far I've come. Not too long ago I would have had a complete meltdown and kept forcing myself to work and "act normal" and fall back into SH habits... When I get like this, all I can think about is SH, but while I wanted to, I didn't. Yes, I've had the annoying little itch in the back of my mind, but I didn't give in. And my GP said he was proud of me, which is lovely.
It's days like this where I go yep, there may be bad days, but there is the hope of brighter days to come, just gotta hold onto the safety rail and wait it out.
Now I've gotta write that and stick it somewhere for when I'm having a really bad day. To remind me to keep on fighting. 😛
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