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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

hows your mouth @CheerBear

and i didn't hear your little fish screaming :}} did you hear mine thouhg?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Littlest fish just had the biggest meltdown. ---- aww @CheerBear, sending you hugs my friend

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

My mouth is better tonight than last night thanks @mudsum. Still taking two types of painkillers but not as frequently. It's very swollen. Silly tooth 😞

I didn't hear your fish either. Maybe they were both going at the same time? Are you able/comfortable with saying how many and how old your fish are?

I don't know much of your story or what brings you here mudsum (not that I need to at all but I'm curious if you'd like to share). I've scattered snippets and bits and pieces of mine throughout here but from what I can tell/notice, a few people know enough.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @Shaz51 💗

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

how many and how old your fish are? @mudsum

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

two fish, 5 and 6.

beauties but lonesome and hard when your on your own. thats is not considering the mental health.

i don't like to label myself but feel that i'm kindsa safe here.

i have DID (Discociate disorder) with other thing that come with it. anxiety, depression, PTSD.

i'm doing pretty well mangagin though.{ }

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Super hard @mudsum and thanks for sharing. I'm glad you're managing well and very glad you've found your way to the nest 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

much like a post you wrote before. I am soooo glad to have found here.
Its hard to descirbe how comfy and connnected i feel here.

been strugglin to get of my laptop to do anything cause i feel like i've found the right place.
thankyou for all your support beautiful friends

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Comfy and connected - two really great feelings @mudsum 🙂 Safe, cosy, heard and understood are feels I get here too.

Looking forward to getting to know you more mudsum.

I'm logging off for the night now to wind down before sleep. Hope you sleep well 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good evening @mudsum @CheerBear @Former-Member @Shaz51 and all other nest dwellers. I am feeling proud of myself for staying off the forum all day. I am back to hunting for that balance between appreciating the connections here and yet knowing that it isn't healthy to spend TOO much time in Forum Land.

What page are you up to in TBKTS @CheerBear? I almost certainly won't be able to keep up with you, but I'll try. Maybe having the goal of keeping up with you will help me to focus!

I hope your mouth is feeling even less sore than last night, now @CheerBear. By the way, hearing how old @mudsum's LF are, made me realise I can't remember how old your LF are. I know they are pretty little LF. LF really are fun to play with. I'm one of those annoying people who, if I have the opportunity, plays with other peoples' LF, get them all totally hyperactive and over-tired, and then say goodbye, leaving the real grownups to deal with the LF. I don't have the remotest idea how to actually care for LF...I just like playing with them. I definitely wouldn't trust me to actually care for a LF without a proper grownup nearby.

@Former-Member I was thinking of you today and wondering how your DBT adventure went. I hope it was ok.

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