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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
soz really dumb question but does the book have a blue cover or more cream greay colour...
for some reason my computer wont let me post a pic on here or thatd be easier
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @CheerBear, @Phoenix_Rising, @mudsum
I dropped out for a bit again. Went a little MIA. I've had a big week too. Started with a new GP yesterday that could have gone better, my old GP has taken maternity leave.....really inconvenient when women have babies 😝 (So at least I didn't make her leave😆). Had a heavy phone app with cc today and I start DBT tomorrow. All a bit new and scary but basically I saw a hole on Monday and thought that perhaps I should jump in and see how dark it was 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:. It's taken me until now to turn the flashlight of my phone on to see the ladder I could use to climb out. Strange description this one, I have no idea where it's coming from 😜. So I'm back until I crash again which knowing me won't be long 😧.
Anyway, nice to 'see' you all. It's good to hear some good news today from you 😊😃
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
So sorry my English is appalling. Didn't see a hole on Monday as such, just think I went looking for one and found it and jumped in 😖😱
oops only managed an hours sleep last night so very tired and scatty 😲🤔:face_with_rolling_eyes:😏
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@mudsum wrote:
soz really dumb question but does the book have a blue cover or more cream greay colour...
for some reason my computer wont let me post a pic on here or thatd be easier
@mudsum That's not a dumb question. The book has a cream-coloured cover with a small blue design in the middle of it.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good to see you @Former-Member. Having to start with a new GP would definitely suck. I hope the DBT goes well tomorrow. Do you mean you are starting in a group? Have you done DBT before?
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Yes I'm starting DBT in a group with CMH @Phoenix_Rising. It's 2.5 hours a week and a weekly session with my therapist. I have done DBT before but I wasn't in the right headspace and missed heaps of sessions. It's also quite intense being in a group and having to share so much. I feel like it's the right time to try again and have been lucky enough to get a place.
Im really glad you woke up well today. That made me smile this morning
💜😊
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Littlest fish just had the biggest meltdown. Could you all hear it from wherever you are, because I'm fairly certain the whole world heard that one? Lucky it was not as massive in duration as it was in intensity 😐
@Former-Member - I remembered you were starting DBT this week but wasn't sure when. I think I'd feel nervous starting anything new really. I hope you find it really helpful. At the break place one of the big white ships went on about DBT a lot. I've never done it before, but my CBT psych also uses DBT techniques/strategies (whatever it is) and I find some of them really helpful. It's so difficult to have to start with new people like GPs. Damn babies 😛 I really like the whole hole and torch metaphor. I spoke here about building a house that's part of a village on stable ground today. I'm glad you turned on the torch and found the ladder in the end (as it seems you/we always end up doing). Hope tomorrow goes well for you and the rest of this week is easier. It's nice to hear from you 🙂
@mudsum - I'll have a google around look at the courage to heal. I'm always up for a book! I have the same one of TBKTS @Phoenix_Rising by the sound of it. I've found it hit some sore spots, but in that good in the end kind of way.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks @CheerBear💜😊
just a heads up @CheerBear, @Phoenix_Rising, @mudsum there is a thread called 'The body keeps the score' by @MoonGal about that book if you are interested in having a look here. I remember when she was writing about it. 💜🤗
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Awesome @Former-Member and thans for letting us know. Looking forward to having a read through the thread 🙂
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member I super hope you find the DBT helpful this time around.
@CheerBear Awwwww poor littlest fish. I hate seeing little fish have big meltdowns because I know how icky big feelings feel.
I'm heading off for the evening now. I'm hoping for another super good night's sleep and a productive tomorrow.
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