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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

hi everyone

how are we all

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Helloooo there not-friend @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

This is a not-post really just to say hi and that I hope you had a good day with your volunteering gig. I have everything crossed that the marking gig is a really positive experience for you, though secretly I feel as if my crossing everything is not needed as I think you've totally got this one.

The little fish, little cats, TT, Squishy and I are watching a movie together and having a really great night. Mr Seahorse is minding the break place room for us while we're away.

I'm going to fly by FF and say hi and then probably call it a night here as my LF need me tonight.

I'll ride a trolley this weekend and be thinking of you when I do.

Hope you have a great weekend 🙂

Hi to @Shaz51, @Former-Member, @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope and all other nest passerbys. Hope you're all well

💛

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hello @CheerBear, are you ok my awesome friend xx,

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm doing really well today thanks @Shaz51 🙂 I'm home for the weekend, with my beautiful little ones. Feeling as good as I have for a long time. I'm looking forward to getting back to normal life feeling better soon (including being able to catch up on what I've missed here!).

Hope you and Mr Shaz are well 🙂 xo

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

hi @CheerBear

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

we are ok @CheerBear, I have still a bit of a cold but getting better xx

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear I feel so super happy thinking about you and your LF being all together for the weekend. And very soon you will be all together for good AND your brain will be less puddled. Have a super awesome wonderful weekend

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Just swinging by to say I'm not here @CheerBear, but it seems you are not here either. So I guess we are not here not friends...and yet right here. I plan to not be here tomorrow either. I bet you and the LF are having a super weekend together. 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

My turn to swing past quickly to say hi to anyone around.

The LF and I have had a great weekend. We did a dinner out and then family movie night on Friday. On Saturday we did the usual weekly fun trip out thingy, then I took them to the movies to see A Dog's Purpose. Today we've had a quieter day at home. They've been really great and I have been able to manage this weekend much better than the weekends we've had for a long time. I feel heaps calmer inside, much less like I want to call quits on it all and generally a whole lot lighter all over. They've got a few things on at school this week which I've been able to prepare for as well, which is helping me feel more organised and therefore less chaotic.

I realised that I'm way closer to finishing off the giant blanket project I've been working on for months which was really exciting, so I picked up the yarn I'll need to complete it which will help keep me motivated to chip away at until it's done. I'm so looking forward to sharing a photo of it.

@Phoenix_Rising - I've been thinking about you and your marking gig lots, wondering what it is you're doing and how you're going with it. I really hope you're doing well. Today at the supermarket I rode a trolley for us. I showed the LF how to wait until there's a 'clear runway for take-off'. The big little fish is at an age where everything is soooo embarrassing so the other LF and I showed them how to make a supermarket trip way more fun with a trolley. I had littles running alongside me which was great. I also caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window yesterday and momentarily forgot that I now have bright hair. It made me double-take and then laugh because I remembered you saying you wouldn't like big changes in hair because you'd get scared looking in the mirror. I like changing my hair, it's something I've always done often to mark new times or make a statement (which usually occurs when I'm taking on something/someone). It's kind of like war paint or maybe armour for me. I definitely have a don't mess with me look happening which is kind of funny because inside I'm actually a super softie 🙂 Thank you for popping past the nest - I hope this weekend has been good for you Phoenix_rising

Hoping everyone else has had something good happen this weekend.

🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear,

I have a feeling that the nest is going to be the only place I'll be visiting around here for the next couple of weeks (and super desperately hoping no waves come along!!!!). Right now the marking gig is DOING MY HEAD IN!!!!! The lecturer marks a paper in half an hour. I was planning for an hour because, you know, I'm new at it. FOUR HOURS each of two papers took me today. I am telling myself I will get quicker with practice. I'm pretty sure I'll get in the swing of it after a few more...but right now it is PAINFUL. Thus I may only make flying visits here for a little while.

I LOVE your story about shopping with the LF today. I'm super pleased you have had such a fun weekend.

I'm off to bed now and then I will be seeing (A) first thing tomorrow. HOPEFULLY that won't create any waves and I can return to my marking adventure.

Night.

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