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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member @CheerBear thinking of you with your appointments

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Off to mine now too @Former-Member. Good luck to you.

Keeping you all sitting with me. Breathing, ok, nest - I've got this.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear yep, you've got this.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm teacup shopping for the nest while I wait. There are people tapping and pacing and it smells a lot too much like a hospital. Someone just yelled that they hate this place and don't want to be here. I found rainbows but have run out of purple. Tea cups, odd shaped ones.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

These will do

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear, still with you

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I feel like I need to run. I don't trust them at all and they know it and they were far too nice to me and I feel very scared of them even though they said I didn't have to be. Apparently as long as I don't communicate intent to them I they said I was free to leave their service but I don't trust them at all on that so maybe if I can just be cool for a little longer, it will blow over and everything will disappear and I will be able to thank them for their time and then walk away.

My heart and my legs and my brain want me to run away very quickly. I need to try to calm myself down. I have 90 minutes to get my head on straight again and hope I can settle very soon.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

What happened for your gut to kick in with trust @CheerBear ?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I am on my phone in a public place so can't really post much but are you saying they are ok to let you go home and keep plodding along for now @CheerBear???

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear have you been seen yet @Former-Member
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