Connect with people who understand what you are going through,
seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're
free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
@Phoenix_Rising - biggest most hugest thank you for being you. I really super seriously appreciate it.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear Wishing you the best for your appointment. 💜🤗💐Here with you (small enough to put in your pocket) 💜🤗💐
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
That's a gorgeous image @Phoenix_Rising.💜🤗
PS. I've never been dragged off from the police but I've ran from them a few times but give in because I'm so pathetic. I end up turtle like too, all curled up in my shell. I've always been compliant enough to wait for the ambulance once defeated, even if that's just curled up on the footpath or driveway. My rage just leaves me exhausted and unable to move. It just is what it is I think. Our reactions are all different. I am very submissive but on occasions have still tried to SH in front of them. 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:. I didn't not think it would be easy for them either knowing how diverse and unpredictable we can be. Im glad you have found out what works best for you. I'm slowly working on it for me too.
I hope this conversation is ok to have here @CheerBear. I know this is not what you are facing at all.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @Former-Member,
I would super like to see police better educated in how to manage people in crisis. However, given that so many mental health professionals don't manage these situations well, I have even less hope of seeing much change among the police. I won't go into details here because I don't think it is helpful for anyone (including me), but suffice to say, despite me having no criminal history whatsoever, I have been handcuffed and thrown in the back of a police wagon more times than I care to mention.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Oh my that's the cutest creature ever @Former-Member. Perfect pocket size thank you. I will hold it with me today.
Totally ok to have this conversation here too. Our experiences are very different, though there are some unfortunate similarities.
I just got a super lovely call from my counsellor, who has also been in my corner for a while. Another way of looking at this appointment is as a means of filling in the blanks that exist between who someone said I was or thought I was last time this went down, and who I am now and why I am here. There's a striking difference and if nothing else, this is a chance to in a way kind of rewrite some history or at least add something very substantial that was missing before.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Sorry @CheerBear kind of feeling a bit mad at myself for posting that last post then. My timing was awful. I hope your finding calm. I find the rainbow walk helpful if you need to on the way there. Find something red, then orange, then yellow, green, blue and purple. Not sure if you've tried that but it helps me. best of luck. 💜🤗💐
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Yay @CheerBear. I have been able to reinvent myself with this service too. I have a terrible reputation but I'm clawing it back and starting to discuss the things that had gone wrong. I feel like I had a new beginning here now too. It was scary for me but all my new changes are working out ok. I'm sure youll just get help with the gaps now. They have to see you are in a very difficult and stressful situation and doing the best you can but just need a leg up. That's my gut instinct anyway.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I hope you don't feel too mad at yourself @Former-Member - please know I am very able to sit quietly on the pillows and stay with my calm, especially around people who I feel good about having around 🙂 I love love LOVE the idea of finding rainbows. That's something that almost has rainbow cheerbear written alllll over it. I've never heard of doing that before either. Very cool
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member and @CheerBear I've never heard of the rainbow walk either. I'm definitely going to put that idea in my toolkit.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks @Phoenix_Rising. I'm so sorry your stuff has worked out like it has. It's not fair. Glad you like the rainbow walk too.
Will catch up later. I have my psychiatrist appointment now. 💜🤗
We're improving how you access SANE services, starting with Forums
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.