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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
very long my sister @Zoe7 xxx, had to take my mum to the heart specialist today
very tired tonight , hope you can get some sleep tonight after you big day too
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
We have both had long days my sister @Shaz51 How is your Mum? Is her heart ok?
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
thank you sister for asking @Zoe7
Mum is very very thin and very frail , but her heart has recovered at last after bowel surgery to remove 15 inches of dead bowel 3 months ago
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I remember what a difficult period it was for you when you mum had her operation so I am pleased her heart has recovered despite her frailty.Thinking of you sister @Shaz51
Zoe
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
thank you sister , yes they thought she would not make it at all @Zoe7 xx
I am really going to bed now
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thank you everyone 🙂
@Phoenix_Rising - the break place stay can be up to 4 weeks. It's highly unlikely we will be able to stay anymore than two with life to deal with. Three would be awesome. It's a see how it all plays out with LF thing I think, though I can see how seriously important it is to throw everything I can at this storm. You'd love it here - rules central 😉 The real coffee is taken at around 2. I've just been told it's ok to have our own, which I kind of thought it would be, but I can see the benefit of not living off caffeine so I'm going to try at least. I feel much more positive tonight that at least this break thing is worth trying properly, and maybe with a few more days rest I will feel less horrible. That's a good start I think. I wonder if there's a similar break place where you are.
Our new friend has just joined us. It's a seahorse. I'm going to have an ocean to take home with me 🙂
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good night nest dwellers. I am super looking forward to tomorrow's update about the break place @CheerBear. Good night my here-and-not-here puddle-brained not-friend.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Lol @CheerBear
your post made me smile a lot. I'm so glad you are there. It sounds just what you needed. I'm very jealous of the finger painting/blending and art therapy. Just cracked up about the coffee/milo etc. In my hospital/respite stay I only had full strength coffee and tea and no milo or any thing else to drink. There are no activities at all. I'm so glad you'll be able to stay until you are in a much better place to deal with everything. I know it won't be easy but at least you've got a chance. I think somehow the message is getting through that we don't need to keep repeating our stories although I had mine down to two sentences after the first few months. This my hospital visit this time the big ships told me they didn't need me to tell it too. They were looking for relevant stuff now which was refreshing.
I really hope that each day brings new positive experiences.
ive actually managed a whole day of calm too. I might have to find that highlight of the day thread me thinks. Somewhere I think it needs to be recorded that I can to calm and less intense too 😄
I hope you sleep well 💜🤗💐
sending best wishes and sweet dreams too @Phoenix_Rising💜🤗
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