FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

4,981 - 4,990 of 5,090

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Your first paragraph made me smile @Sans911 and I wanted to issue a challenge 😜 but seriously I took your point too. It’s just not so easy to accept sometimes.

I feel very much the same @Sans911 with intruding. The thing is I know we are both wrong for thinking that way but I guess it’s the way we feel.

To tell the truth I’ve been thinking a bit the same lately re how much fight I have. I am getting tired now but would like to catch up sometime soon for a chat. I think we have some things in common that is making it harder for us like housing, finances and living alone trying to start a new life from the one we knew.

Take care @Sans911. I hope you sleep tonight. 💜🤗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I went to boarding school @Sans911, which is not the same thing, but there was a struggle to keep other girls from borrowing things and never returning them, fighting for identity amongst bullies, only to marry into a family with adult bullies in it ..... and now that has come with a genetic predisposition to an mi that is in my kids as well ..... and this ed situation has now triggered three instead of the original one .....

This is my long-winded way of saying “I hear you” ..... and it’s a daily battle to get up and fight ..... but it helps me so much to know that you are getting up to the fight, all of you @Sans911 @CheerBear @Teej ..... and it gives me courage to keep doing the same.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I figured that might get you to smile @Teej. This brief chat has been very pleasant. I hope you sleep OK. I'm not so sure how much sleep I'll get as the pharmacist missed one day of medication due to the public holiday, so I've had to use my as needed meds, which probably isn't enough. Goodnight xxx

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I’m heading off to bed now @Faith-and-Hope, @Sans911. My brain is fried and am needing sleep I hope. Thanks for chatting. I hope you have a good night. 💜🤗

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Goodnight @Teej @Sans911 ..... @CheerBear if you are heading off too. I hope you all sleep quickly and well.

💜💐💜💐💜💐

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear, a late night note for you to get in the morning. First of all, big hugs! I haven't the experience you are going through, but I feel for you having to go through it. I imagine I would feel highly anxious and weirded out to be going through that process. I hope you do end up with a break and I hope you feel at peace there, without unwanted interference in your capacity to make your own decisions. We all have a right to that, well in most cases I think it really should be a priority, so as to minimise feelings of disempowerment. Those are surely not a good thing for our mental health. But I trust your ability and strength to take care of yourself in anxious and weird situations. You are doing it, with courage, intelligence and wisdom. All strength to you.

Hi @Sans911, @Faith-and-Hope, I've read back a little in the thread and noticed you are up too. Do you mind if I join in your chat?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Not at all @Mazarita. I don't think I've had a conversation with you in a very long time

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Mazarita 👋💕

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks, @Sans911, @Faith-and-Hope.

Sans, it's true we haven't chatted for ages. It's not through design. I think mainly it's that in our chosen (or random) trajectories through the forum we haven't crossed paths so much. I'm glad to meet up in real time now.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Like @Mazarita although can't say how long I'll be here. I've taken something to help me sleep, and feeling the effects a little bit. I'm awake about an hour later than usual. It's going to be tricky getting comfortable for sleep as one cat is in between my legs. And the little kitten is giving him a thorough tongue bath lol
4,981 - 4,990 of 5,090