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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
While looking for a pic for you @CheerBear i came across this. I’d made it months ago to get through something. It’s one of my fave all time pics and it’s very solemn. It helped just now to find it. Maybe it might help someone else at times of fear and uncertainty. Just thought I’d share since I found it.
💜🤗
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Awesome news, @CheerBear. It's so important to dignity to get that kind of treatment, rather than the reverse, which makes us feel disempowered and resistant. So happy this is proceeding smoothly for you.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
TeejSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
And then I found this which seems much more appropriate @CheerBear😁
I had downloaded that months ago too 😄
hi @KobeCat or @candycane, just realised this pic may have to be moderated. Can we pretend it’s a rolled up piece of paper with words of wisdom and experience on?
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear I know the freeing feeling not having others making our choices for us. Giving us back out power/control. You've got this. I'm proud of you.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
candycaneSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Yes 100% @Teej looks like an ancient scroll full of wisdom 🙂
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
TeejSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks @candycane👍😊 that’s what I thought. And I have cheerbear dressed anonymously, cos you can’t get more anonymous than a super hero dress up 😄
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I read so much on the forum and see people all the time showing how worth it it can be to try and to keep going, even when it seems like there are so many reasons not to. Me even doing this and it working well so far does have something to do with people and stories here, and this thing called hope I think, that I have seen reasons for everywhere in my time here. You all play a big part in that. So thankful ❤
@Teej I am feeling all the feels and laughing a lot at the same time! They're awesome in such different ways and I love them! And I totally see the wisdom in that one - it speaks to me 😁 Really hoping you can find a way to a break soon too. And @Maggie so much of this 😊 thanks. Really glad you're back 💕
I am a little concerned @Mazarita, that if this works it may bring an end (for a while at least) to me meeting up with you here at ridiculous o'clock! Hopefully we can both find a more settled place soon.
Even my person is much more OK this time. So good. The change in a year is big and I think I can see that a lot more clearly now in comparing this time to last. Yay ☺
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear .... ❤️
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @CheerBear, our ridiculous-o-clock meetings are great but I always wish you better rest and smoother hours. Besides, I'm happy to chat with you any time! Full of smiles that this is shaping up to be a better experience for you from the outset.
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