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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Beautiful image @Teej and @Maggie

@Maggie really admire your new avatar - gives me a sense of the Maggie inside.

@Faith-and-Hope @Snowie always lovely to see you

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member Go girrrrrl......

What a sensitive, intellegent, thoughtful and caring response. I truely enjoyed reading and learning. Thankyou.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

LOVE love love your new avatar @Maggie ..... ❣️

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Memberhi to you too

A beautiful, informative post you wrote on here

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you @Snowie and @Maggie. Still feeling a bit of the old 'wait, wait for it, you know you've said too much' sort of fallout ... old experiences still have impact even though I fight the urge to stay silent.

You've helped me overcome the urge to delete the post - thank you.

One of the 'concepts' I've been trying to live by since a young teenager has been, 'If I can help one person to make better choices for themselves on their path in life, my life has been worth living'.

It's hard to do sometimes. Bless you for your kindness.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

All the feels!

@Maggie thank you for your cat hugs and for stopping by. Love the new avatar! It's beautiful and suits you so well.

@Former-Member thank you so much. I really appreciate your reply and your share. Hearing, feeling and taking it all in, in a really great way.

Feeling truly thankful for the support in all of the ways it has been given ❤

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-MemberI hope you never delete your posts as you write with such insight and from the heart

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member that long post you just wrote is beautiful and full of caring, kind and compassionate words. Don't you dare delete it. I've been quietly following you for a while now. I really enjoy what you share and write. It comes from a special place inside you.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Ditto to all the above @Former-Member 💜🤗

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you @Teej @Sans911 @CheerBear @Snowie and others too. Okay, I won't delete, but I'm sure you know how i feel.

Your kindness is very meaningful to me... teariness at your kindness. Thank you for speaking.

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