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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Are you taking your fluffy pink blanky and pillow @CheerBear
That would be comforting for you.
I always take my pillow with me and a little blanky. 😂 I like things from home with me when I go somewhere.
Thinking of you and sending love and hugs. 💟💕
Wet and cool here today. A very nice change from the heat.
Heating up some leftover soup.

I read that your LF won't be with you tonight.
Maybe having the TV on or some music might help you not feel so empty. 💗☕🍰

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi to @Former-Member and @Phoenix_Rising as well.
💗💕
☕🍰

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Phoenix_Rising

We can breathe over here if you'd like, until that has been responded to. I can keep watch.

I'm right here or there if you'd like. Totally sitting here breathing with you

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm not going anywhere until this has passed @Phoenix_Rising. You can yell or cry or rock or stim or sit or breathe and I'll ride it out with you until it passes.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Lost my words @CheerBear. HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Confused. Safe space gone. Hurt. Lost my words. Snuggle in nest???

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hurt yes. I understand @Phoenix_Rising. No words needed unless you want to say them.

This is safe here. You are safe here. Snuggle here.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Safe in @CheerBear's pocket. No hurt.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

There are people here who have got this with you @Phoenix_Rising. I'm here. @Faith-and-Hope is there. There are big fish coming too. You are safe. We are breathing and not responding.

You're in my pocket. I'll show you in a moment.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear Big big big practice at breathing. Super big gigantic practice. Super super super hard. You practicing too? We practicing?

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