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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

481 - 490 of 5,090

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm here too @Phoenix_Rising ...,,

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

We are so practicing breathing together @Phoenix_Rising. We're ok.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Be still, breathe, wait, be still, breathe, wait, be still, breathe, wait .....

You've got this.

❤️💕🐢 @Phoenix_Rising

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear Hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt scared hurt scared hurt. Phoenix_Rising not bad? Phoenix _Rising doing good job at staying alive? Shut up Phoenix_Rising. Don't talk about it Phoenix_Rising. Just die Phoenix_Rising. Hurt. Muddled. Try super super super super hard. Hurt. Scared. Confused. Brain muddled. In big waves, bad for riding waves, die Phoenix_Rising, scared, confused, hurt, scared, confused, hurt.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Tiny turtle in a safe cosy fluffy pink blanket pocket nest, close but not too close to a new half finished not-friend @Phoenix_Rising. Both breathing together and practicing being ok together.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear Breathe, rock, wait for picture. Safe and snuggly in CheerBear's pocket. Super safe. Safe safe safe safe.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

You are not bad @Phoenix_Rising. Not at all. Big waves. Big muddle yes. But you are not bad and it is ok. It will be ok. We are right here in this wave and it will pass and you will see and feel you are ok again when it does.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear right here. CheerBear right here. CheerBear right here. Scared. Confused.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm here. I was there too when I meant to be here. We're confused together but it's safe here @Phoenix_Rising. Scared yes. Breathing yes we are together.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

here for you @Phoenix_Rising xx

481 - 490 of 5,090