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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hello CheerBear, my name is Artemis and I am new to these forums. I can relate to navigating the broken system (with a broken brain) to get centrelink Sole parent allowance I studied and it was soooo stressful dealing with centrelink - I’m sure they do it on purpose to try and push people away. All power to you! :ok_hand:

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Big yay @Catcakes 😊

Hi @Artemis ☺ It's nice to 'meet' you and welcome to the forum. C-link can be SO stressful! I remember when I moved to single parenting payment and what I went through to get it - it was full on. Now I'm in a transition period to a different payment type, though this new payment isn't due to happen for a little while (they do this with the hope that people won't need the other payment I think). They're on to it the moment something expires, or a date clicks over.

Studying and single parenting is a tough gig. Well done to you! Are you still studying?

I'm not sure if you know this one yet, but if you'd like to tag someone you can put the @ symbol in front of their name. It can make it a bit easier to see and reply to posts that way.

Looking forward to 'seeing' you around ☺

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Popping by to say "Hi" and send some good wishes your way.
Thinking of you @CheerBear

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear have noticed you havent been 'around' for a few days, hoping all is ok and letting you know am thinking of you. Take care 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Another friend noticing your absence, @CheerBear. But I think I also read in one of your earlier posts that you may be doing something these few days, maybe away from home. Either way, thinking of you too, sending love.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Me too @CheerBear .... ❣️🌈🦄

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

And me @CheerBear

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Popping by to say hi.

I've had a tricky week and I had to take some time out to deal with it, but I'm getting there. Lots of things will be a bit easier to manage when the kids are back at school next week I think. I should have the horrible DSP letters and docs collected by the end of next week also, which will be a relief.

I've been trying to focus on that good that's there when I open my eyes. Things like the littlest having their very first without me play at a friend's house which they rocked. And the sparkle and shine that is our house post-house inspection. We had really great day out at the zoo a few days ago and no-one got lost (always a good thing 😉!). I was also able to fix my car stereo last night despite not having any idea what all the wires in all of colours were remotely about which made me feel a bit clever🎵🎶 Small things and little wins 🌈

@Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Mazarita, @Faith-and-Hope and @Pepsimax thank you for calling by and sending your thoughts. I miss everyone when I'm not here and it means lots to see you ❤

I hope you're all well enough. Looking forward to wandering around soon ☺

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

🤗🌈💕 @CheerBear ....

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Lovely to 'see' you again @CheerBear, good to hear you are having small moments of wins.

Sorry to hear your days have been tricky though. It will take a bit to settle I guess, thinking good things for you, hoping for better. You're doing wonderfully, although it might not always seem like it.

'Tisn't it a great feeling when you fix something you had no idea you could fix! Awesome! go you!

Lots of good wishes for you as you traverse this tricksy path you're travelling.

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