FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

4,251 - 4,260 of 5,090

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning @Phoenix_Rising. I was over in the ocean and on an adventure thread trying to work out where to say that I hear and feel how wrongness can make things like sleep and enjoying adventures so tricky, and that I am still here with you sitting in the bigness while in my bigness. And also that if there's fresh juice for brekkie can we please have some of that? I really like juice sometimes. I also really like it when I see you here while I am somewhere too - it feels togetherish.

Things are tricky and sleep is tricky for me also which is making tricky trickier. I am really hoping that things settle a little with the little fish being at school. I know what I need but I can't quite get it and that sucks. I'm thinking you may understand that feeling too.

Thank you for stopping by and for reminding me that we can do this. I agree, we can do this.

I've got a busy day ahead as I am guessing you do too, with changing the world. I'll be here even when I am not though and looking forward to the next instalment of the adventure.

Hope today has lots of good in it for you too 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear We can have orange juice...so long as it doesn't have bits in it. 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Bit free orange juice sounds perfect @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

Guess what? I am fishless and they all did so, so well! Big was very big and very happy to get back to it all. Clown fish had hiccups with firey words this morning but by the time we were walking was happy and bouncy. And puffer fish was very brave and after a couple of squeeze-my-hand moments, was off and running. Walking up there together, seeing people again, seeing the hugs from teachers and friends, and now walking home on my own, feels like normal stuff and that feels better already. Yep, this is gottable 🙂

Heading out for the day, and thinking of you doing your thing.

And hoping today goes well for anyone who might be reading.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good vibes coming your way for today, @CheerBear.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

All the best for the start of the new school year @CheerBear ..... and any other parents of children starting back today .....

💜

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi nest 🙂

Thank you @Mazarita and @Faith-and-Hope and those under that like button 🙂 They had a great day today and are went to bed no fuss - bonus of being tired from an earlier than they're used to start and a very busy day! We walked home with a big bunch of mums and kids and babies (and a puppy!) which was a great way to end the school day. They were pretty full on this afternoon but I expected it and had prepared myself for it.

I ran around doing a whole heap of things I haven't had a chance to do with them home, and am dragging my feet to the shower before I head to an early but much needed bed. I heard from the owner who is coming over on the weekend to look at the plumbing and I've organised some back-up to be here, so hopefully it will be not as terrible as I first thought it would. It was quite a 'cool' conversation, but there was no flipping out so that's a good start.

Hope today has been a good one for you both and for anyone reading 🙂

Waving also to @Phoenix_Rising before I go, who I am thinking of and was hoping to read how world-changing went, but I am now about 2 mins off crashing and I am wondering if you might be a bit tired also. I really hope today had lots of good in it. I am looking forward hearing about it if/when you share.

Hope the moon puts on an awesome show, for anyone who is going to be up watching it.

Night

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

All sounds like good news, @CheerBear. Hope the shower is refreshing. And sleep is sweet.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Night night @CheerBear

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning @CheerBear,

I feel like I've been doing more taking than giving in our not-friendship over the last little while as you sit with me in the super gigantic feelings of the wrongness of the wrong. Thus I thought I would wander over here to the nest this morning to say that I hope you have a day with more good than not-good in it.

Do you have anything in particular planned for your fish-free hours? Has there been any further progress on Operation fix-plumbing-issue? It super bugs me that Mr House-owner makes things more difficult for you than they need to be!

I super hope today is an ok or better-than-ok day in your world CheerBear.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning @Phoenix_Rising and thanks for calling by ☺

You've been incredibly giving in our not-friendship. Last week (I think it was last week - it feels like last year now!) was very tricky but having you sit with me through it, as you do so often, was so helpful.

I'm about to head in to an appointment with my psych, and was wondering what I'd do for the next ten minutes when I saw your message here.

I have lots on my want to do list today but how much I get to will probably depend on how things go this morning with psych (I'm really hoping it goes well which it does most of the time, but it can go not-so-well sometimes). Owner is coming this weekend to fix things. Fix will probably mean do a dodgy patch up job, but at this stage I don't care as long as there aren't any scary moments from them and it gets us through for a little while.

I won the guess which level psych works on game (not sure I've shared that one with you before). I have less than one hand in numbers to choose from and I don't win this game way more often than I do 😆

Hoping your day has some of that good in it and that it is a calm seas (as much as they can be at the moment) kind of one. Hoping to wander around later to catch up ☺

Waving hi and bye to anyone else who may be passing through 👋
4,251 - 4,260 of 5,090