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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
@Former-Member ..... sometimes Like means “I hear you” rather than “I like what you’re saying”.
That is what I have meant if ever I have Liked a self-derogatory comment of yours ...... it is intended to be a note of empathy Hon, not agreement ..... but there is no “I hear you” button so the Like gets used for both.
I will make a point of not doing that in future, and writing “I hear you” instead.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
@Faith-and-Hope it's not you. You know which member it is. The moderators know which member it is and this person started doing it after we had a very public fight and now this person has just started doing it again. It's bullying and not appropriate behaviour. It's not okay, but is this person going to be moderated? No! It's double standards and not okay.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
💜@Former-Member ......
I hear you.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hello @Former-Member
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a really difficult time at the moment with too much going on it sounds like. I believe Nik sent you an email earlier this morning to see how you are travelling so please check your email when you get a chance? That might help you further address the current forum issues you are having.
There are quite a few members who are supporting you through this, so it is good you are reaching out on the forums for some much needed extra support right now.
Lunar
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
For me, ‘liking’ a post is a way of saying ‘I hear you’. @Former-Member, I know I have ‘liked’ posts of yours in the past because I have really related to what you have written and have similar feelings myself. Often I don’t have the words or the confidence to post a reply, but I ‘like’ posts so that people at least feel heard. I’m sorry if my doing that has upset you—that was never my intention.
I am upset about a discussion you and I were having the other night being deleted and am in the middle of behind-the-scenes discussion about it now because it doesn't feel okay to me. I’m not sure it means much, but please know I am on your side about that.
I’m really sorry you’re feeling the way you are, @Former-Member.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member, I just need the disparity in treatment and the bullying behaviour on these forums addressed. I'm not feeling well right now, and to have this heaped upon me now has been too much for me to handle. If I see any more bullying behaviour on these forums I am no longer going to stand by. I'm going to call it for what it is. And it's not okay.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks @Former-Member. To everyone who thinks they may have done the wrong thing.... it's not you. Trust me. This person knows who they are and they know what they were doing. They've been doing it for some time now.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
I'm going now, I've stirred up too much hate/angst/pain. And my anger is not dissipating. I think I need to just accept that what goes on in the real world, goes on in forum land too.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Yes @Former-Member bullying behaviour is understandably the last thing you need right now on top of everything else.
Would you be able to email us with more information on what has been happening with this bullying behaviour the last few months so we are able to address it, that would be really helpful for us.
Thank you
In response to: I'm in a nest
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member ...... I want you to know that I have been communicating concerns behind the scenes as well, as we are all entitled to, and I feel it is important to say that so -
🌷 others on the forums know that they can speak up about their concerns off-line.
🌷 you understand that you are not alone in having concerns about the recent dynamics, even if few are speaking up about it on-line.
🌷 speaking up about concerns allows a variety of different perspectives to be put forward and it may be easier for the mods to work out what is driving the dynamcs, and it’s not always obvious.
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