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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning nest. I hope everyone has a good or at least an okay(ish) day. 🌷

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Same to you @Former-Member .... 💐💕

Hi everyone .... 👋

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear i dropped by this morning to say Hi, there seemed to be a conversation going on that I didn't want to interrupt so saying Hi now. Hope you have a good NYE!!!!

@Former-Member@Phoenix_Rising Hi to you also

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi in the nest 🙂

Hi @Former-Member - I hope you're going ok after last night's ponderings. Attachment stuff is a big ouch for me, though I think it's so relevant for much of the tricky faced by many (including myself). I have oodles of respect for anyone brave enough to face it. I hope you enjoy the company of your mates Ben and Jerry tonight 😁

Hi @Former-Member ☺ I hope your day has some okayish in it too 💚 Very cool to see you floating about.

Waving hi to @Faith-and-Hope also ☺

And a hi to @Maggie who I missed bumping in to this morning I hope your neighbour's puppies are giving you some joy (that is today yeah?) 💗

@Phoenix_Rising thanks for reminding me to be tooth fairy today! We fell asleep in the lounge room last night and I forgot so it was so helpful to have your post from over that way ⬅️ reminding me! Today is kind of like Saturday in terms of the world being normal. I think there are 2 sleeps and 1.5 days to go now (but who knows really 😆). It's not long! I've been thinking of this past year lots today, and how there's been a tiny turtle there for most of it. Big giant thank you.

Which brings me to this

The December rollercoaster has continued for me with the ups and downs today coming in a hit of going over what happened this year thinking "well that was pretty full on". For a few years now, including last year, I have hit 31/12 and arrived at the conclusion that the year that had just happened had enough tough stuff in it that at least the next year probably won't be as hard. With 2017 being what it was, I think I have learned my lesson now. 2017 sucked and it nearly ended me. 2018 will be what it will be.

I made it here to see the end of the year for a few reasons, with a huge one being that I have felt so supported and connected here on the forum. Finding myself here has been one of the very best things to have happened in this year of lots of not very best at all things. The biggest thank you for the difference you've all made in my world (way too many to tag in one post).

I know there are plenty of others who have seriously struggled to find their way through the year and I wonder whether today brings similar mixed feelings. I hope there's a little space for a moment of "I did it", if there is.

I'm going to spend the rest of the day and night with another three of biggest reasons to have kept on keeping on through 2017, and who are likely to remain three of the biggest reasons to keep on keeping on through whatever 2018 throws at me. We have glow sticks and sparklers and fizzy drink in fancy cups (they're so excited about that one). Hope wherever you are and whatever you are doing, it feels right enough for you right now.

See you in 2018 ☺

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Writhing you a wonderful New Year with your little fish-people there @CheerBear ....,, as I celebrate with my big dragon-people ......

And I hope that 2018 blesses you with continued recovery and exciting new opportunity.

💜💐

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Happy New Year @CheerBear and LF

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

1. Buffy
2. Bottle of white wine
3. Ginger kitten x2
4. Ice cream
Seriously no incentive to go out right now..........

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

What's the book called about attachment @Phoenix_Rising. Can't find it in the DBT thread???? I'm really interested in this.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning @CheerBear we were a group of beached whales on my thread yesterday, I have to move so expecting a wave to push me back into the ...keep swimming mode.... I have a Drs app which is max stress, so movement is necessary. Lol.

Did you watch Sunday Night???? There was a part about celebrity cats. It was both funny and serious. I won't go on in case you have seen it. Very interesting our fur baby relationships.

My neighbour has her pups which are as cute as. They are also keeping her up more than she expected. My baby just ran home, she's a fragile little number. She might make friends, she might not, it's her choice.

Hope your day goes okish and your LF and garden give you a few smiles. 🐾💕💜

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning @Maggie ☺ I really enjoyed logged on and reading this message. Thank you for brightening my morning.

Sorry to hear about max stress. It's kind of annoying to have to do stuff sometimes hey?! I don't think my LF and I have left the house since Saturday. After being away they have been very happy spending time at home. It won't be long until they get cabin fever so I'll enjoy it while it's ok for them.

I didn't see Sunday Night. We don't watch tv station tv (we stream movies and things though). Celebrity cats sounds like something I would watch though and I think I can catch up on it somewhere.

Yay for puppies! And oh 🙁 for your baby. I love that you're letting her have that choice. She's a lucky one 💗

I have a photo I want to share. I think you'll like it so I will log on to the big site in a sec and post it.

Good luck at the Dr and I hope there's smiles and/or good for you today ❤
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