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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
Edie is good, thank you @CheerBear. Me, not so much—but I’m still here (and while that doesn’t feel like a win, I know it kind of is).
I hope you and the LF stayed coolish today. There's way too much summer happening here. 🙁
P.S. I am so hearing you, @Phoenix_Rising.🙁
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Super big thank you for hearing me @Former-Member.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Yay for comfy bras @Phoenix_Rising! And for Maccas and Kmart being open this morning 🙂
It's a pretty heavy weight 😞 I think your question/wondering is such a good one and it makes so much sense to wonder that. I wonder what Turtle Whisperer's response to that question would be. All I can think of is how much you felt right about TTT when you met her. (Which did not come out the way I meant it so I am adding an edit to say that I hope that feeling proves right, even though I get you've had feelings that things will work out before and then ridiculous things like what TW did happen :S ) I wish there were answers and I wish it made more sense :S
@Former-MemberI am glad Edie is good. I'm sorry there's too much summer happening. I'm with you there tonight. Sorry you're not so good right now and I get that it might not feel like a win to be here at the moment. Glad you know it kind of is though.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
I just wish I had some answers, @Phoenix_Rising—for both of us. 🙁
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I am super glad you are here @CheerBear and @Former-Member. I super wish I had answers for us too @Former-Member.
I'm going to head off again now, but I will check in again tomorrow.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear wrote: @Former-Member - I am so so SO glad to see you. I have been sitting on my "annoy bookish by tagging to ask how you're going" hands for days, hoping you would pop up.
Very delayed response, I know, but I wanted to say that you can tag me anytime, @CheerBear. I might not be able to reply straight away but I am always happy to hear from you. 🌷🦄
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hope you sleep well @Phoenix_Rising and look forward to seeing you tomorrow 🙂
Thank you heaps @Former-Member. I am always happy to hear from you also. I find it hard to know where the line between me 'letting someone know I care' and me 'annoying the heck out of them' is sometimes!
It's hot tonight. Still 30 plus here and not so great for sleep :S I am sacrificing any form of cool breeze for a Mouse and Noodle who have what I believe would be a jump through the flyscreen trick if I opened the windows. It's reminding me again of you and Edie.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
So much this, @CheerBear (both bits). And I was just thinking about ten minutes ago, 'why doesn't it cool down earlier?' Seriously though, why is it 30 degrees at 10pm?
I hope you can manage some sleep, @CheerBear.🌷
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I think even the colour of the moon is hot tonight @Former-Member! :S
Two thirds of mine are up in the too hotness still (in bed - one with books and one with a device). I might have to find some rubbish to watch and hope sleep just happens from there.
Going to log off and try that one I think. Hope you sleep or have some peaceful moments.
Night bookish 🙂
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Good night, @CheerBear. Sending you and the LF all the sleepy-vibes I can muster. 🌷
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