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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member - I could have written a very similar post this morning as I fight a battle of this vs that. I wish there was something more I could say than what I will, which is that I hear you also.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thinking of you both @Former-Member and @Phoenix_Rising

🐐🐢🌷

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thinking of you too @CheerBear, and @Former-Member. I am about to go to my yoga class. My brain is so broken.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I hope yoga feels good @Phoenix_Rising. I am with you with a broken brain 😞

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member - I am about to arm myself with a whipper snipper and got a bit of a giggle when I thought about that, particularly after my recent encounter with our sofa. I am also listening to pretty random playlist including Powderfinger which sort of reminds me of the times I listened to Karma Police a lot.

I hope you are ok/ok-ish/ok-enough but if not, I hope you are still safe enough.

💚

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning @CheerBear,

Thank you for the super funny image of a care bear who survived being eaten by a sofa, now being armed with a whipper snipper. Hopefully it will give @Former-Member a little smile too.

I am feeling a bit brighter today because as you correctly noted over there --> it is Turtle Whisperer Tuesday and HOPEFULLY she will have now spoken with TTT and there will be some positive movement on that front. How the heck can it have taken so many weeks (moving into months!!!!) to get to the point of Turtle Whisperer speaking to TTT. If we continue at this rate, I should have my first appointment with TTT sometime in the year 2035!!!

I read that you have a cold. That sucks. I hope you feel better super soon. Oh...now I have a picture in my brain of a carebear sneezing and blowing herself away.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

Happy to hear you're feeling a bit brighter this morning! I am really looking forward to hearing how you get on with this if you share. I'm trying to find some funny-but-not thing to say about waiting 18 years to get an appointment, but my sneezy coldy head is not working. I feel so sick 😞

But I did do the yard and considering my clumsiness at the best of times, and my sneezy coldy head I am quite happy that I only chewed up the grass a few times and even remembered to turn the power off before pulling the end windy bit thingy off to put more green stringy stuff in 😉

I think I might head to the shower for the second time today. I am seeing that 48 hour antiperspirant does definitely not last even a couple of hours today, but am still hoping it will make me have more beautiful underarms 😛

Hope the rest of your day stays brighter!

Hi to anyone popping past also 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear, sorry to hear you’re feeling sickly—and a big too (if I deduced correctly with my wonky brain … definitely one of the LF). I hope the germs vacate soon.

Thank you for the smile about the whipper snipper and more beautiful underarms. Also, yay Powderfinger. 🎶

I am very not okay, but safe enough. Thank you for caring whether I am still of this world. And thank you for sneaking through that crack in @Phoenix_Rising’s shell. 🌷🙁

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Former-Member. Thank you for coming past. It is good to see you. You are correct - big was not well today and I had to pick them up from school. They'll be ok tomorrow thanks. I feel like I have been run over by a bus, but the pain of a coldy thing is maybe a nice change from the emotional pain of the other buses that were hitting 😉 Still, not feeling run over would be preferable. It is so hard feeling like this but having to get over it for plus three. Definitely a night where I wish there was someone to tag-team with. Got there though.

I ended up listening to Odyssey Number 5. It was definitely yay and a nice change from my go to ☺

I was thinking you might not be very ok today and I am sorry to hear you are feeling it. I do definitely care whether you are still of this world and how you are getting on. There are listening eyes and understanding ears if you do want to share.

🙁

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I’ve just listened to Odyssey Number Five. A great album. The home of my funeral song (although the idea of the need for this is laughable … funeral, yeah right ... friends and family, yeah right). Yet it’s not that song that has kept the tears flowing tonight, but so many others (and my brain in general ... how I would love to get through just one single day without crying). I am still so in love with the strings in The Metre. (It makes me smile to think of a certain little turtle playing violin … so clever-tricky with flippers.) My memory is so so bad, but it always amazes me the way that music attaches so strongly to certain memories, sometimes just the memory of a place rather an event—more often than not, really. I listen to certain songs and remember where and when I was most leaning on that song.

Anyway, late night musings/ramblings. Sorry.

Wishing you all a kind day tomorrow (today). 🌷

P.S. I don’t think not feeling bus-squished is too much ask, @CheerBear.

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