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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning @CheerBear. I hope your pesky cold is starting to move on and that clown fish and puffer fish don't catch what you and big have.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning in the nest
I feel so ugh 😞 My chest, throat and one of my ears feel like they're on fire and I'm hot and freezing at the same time. I didn't sleep very well at all and was really uncomfortable last night. I woke up in a sweat and felt a burning need to water the garden - it was 1:30am.
I have things I need to do around the house today and I don't want to so them. If I had a wand I would use it on housework today.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

That all sounds super yuck @CheerBear. I super wish I could find you a cleaning genie. {Wanders off to search for a cleaning genie for CheerBear}.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning, @CheerBear. I wonder if the tasks for today can wait a little while you heal. But if you have to do them, take it easy. Drink lots of water! Fingers crossed this passes quickly from you.

Good morning to all others in the nest too.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you @Phoenix_Rising 🙂 I hope we don't share these germs around also. Not fun or nice.

Morning @Mazarita 🙂 Lovely to see you. When I wake up I often wonder whether you are also up and whether I will bump into you with my coffee. These things probably can't wait as they're those really annoying needed things which I didn't do yesterday. We have someone coming over tomorrow which also adds to my need to do them today 😞 I will remember to drink lots of water thanks.

Hope your day ahead is a good one. Any plans today?

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Here you are @CheerBear:

Good morning @Mazarita.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm going to jump out of Forum Land now and try to be vaguely productive for a few hours. I have done so much nothing over the past few weeks and I know that makes me feel worse.

I think I will aim to read just 2 pages of the DBT manual today @CheerBear. That sounds like a ridiculous goal for the entire day, but having that tiny baby goal that really should be achieveable might help me get back in the swing of it.

I hope there is some good in your day today @CheerBear and @Mazarita.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Ooh @Former-Member you were looking for a genie earlier - I will have to get on to the big forum (not the app) and check out this genie thanks @Phoenix_Rising. That sounds like a really SMART goal 😉

@Former-Member - morning to you (intentional leaving out of good though secretly hoping it is) ☺ I got lovely connection feelings thinking we both listened to Odyssey Number 5 yesterday. I had moments of being taken back in time listening to it yesterday. Music is one of my longest and most used get through it skills for it's ability to make me time travel. I try to be careful with what I listen to during certain things happening (like my trips to and from my blanket ball on the floor of the police station adventure) for the reason that I know I get seriously triggered by music. I have headphones within easy reach of almost everywhere so I can change the noise in my head if I need to (like at the supermarket where I can't control what is being played). Most of the time I listen to dance music for the energy and the uplifting feels that bring mostly only ok memories. Music and memories are definitely amazing. Right up on my list of top 5 songs is one with strings.

I hope the day has something more than ok in it for you 🦄 No need for sorries, ever 😊 (do you know how many times I want to add hearts to the end of a message to you but I haven't worked out if you're a hearty emoji kind of person?!)

Racing a big to the shower now. Hope there's good for all ☺

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

The cleaning genie must be on a day off, I can't find a wand to make the things I need to do get done, and the colour of the sun is so hot today 😞 I am so frustrated that I have an annoying human-ness about me with these annoying things called limits. This bug has flattened me this morning and I haven't been able to do anything except lie down since I took the fish to school. I am so frustrated that I can't push through it today.

And I miss our village so so much when I feel like this 😞

Ugh

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear The day is more than half done and I haven't opened the DBT manual yet. Maybe today is another being day rather than a doing day. Sooooooooo frustrating. We can work at mindfully being...then at the end of the day we can say "yay for us, we achieved something today, we have mindfully been."

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