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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

*snuggles into the nest*
Hi everyone, hope you're well.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey ... @Former-Member .... 👋💕

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Faith-and-Hope
How are you? What's new? (I'm sooo behind on my reading)

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

We’re “under investigation” @Former-Member ..... so things are on the move at least .....

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Am I able to ask the back story to that? I've really not been on this site for many many weeks.
It doesn't sound good. Are things okay?
Please don't answer if you don't feel comfortable.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Mr f&h spun out into an obscure form of eating disorder 8 years ago ..... personality and values changes, major control issues ..... all the etc that goes with the territory,.... and it has impacted us all across that time. Think you knew that much already ..... ?

He still has no idea he is unwell.

One of the kids ended up in therapy, and now it’s a question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, cos now there’s talk of other underlying issues, although the e.d. in hubby hasn’t been identified yet, and I don’t know whether that will make a difference to what is the presumed truth at this stage.

Can’t lay it all out in front of him because the lack of awareness makes it psychologically dangerous territory for all of us.

Still as muddled as ever, but on the move again .....

@Former-Member

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good to see you @Former-Member 😊 Hope it feels snuggly

@Faith-and-Hope - Your turn for duck 🦆 😉 💕💗

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Nope .... I’m not ducking either @CheerBear .... 😏

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Former-Member, it is good to see you here in the nest this evening.

I'm wondering where @TheVorticon is. I am missing seeing him around. I hope things are ok in your part of the world TheVorticon.

@CheerBear The crayon stories would definitely be helpful in countering your dissertation reading. I listened to both of them earlier, but I must have fallen asleep during the second one because suddenly I was listening to the end of Thelma the Unicorn.

@Faith-and-Hope it's good to hear there has been a little bit of movement with Mr F&H.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

She's soooo sparkly and pink @Phoenix_Rising 😁🦄, but is totally great not sparkly.

I am missing TheVorticon also.

I had a post about my stuck day and how it maybe related to some stuck pause waiting stuff too, but I am thinking more about what I write than perhaps I would have done a week ago. Sucks. It'll pass though and for now I will rely on trusty saying it without lots of words stuff. I hope you sleep (actually sleep) tonight Phoenix_Rising.
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