Hi @CheerBear. I just want to say again how much I appreciate you and value your support. You mentioned yesterday that there was some stuff you wanted to talk through but your words were being uncooperative. I will have my listening eyes ready whenever you are able to talk about it and if you’re not, I will just be here to sit with you in those big feelings, knowing how majorly tricky it all is. 🌷
I’m still so super proud of you for deleting the app from your phone the other night—especially given your judgement at the time was perhaps ever so slightly wonky. It really is very impressive. 😊 The breaking/dying of the phone though, is not so great. You didn’t drop it in the toilet the other night, did you? 😁 All jokes aside, I understand how much anxiety would be exploding around not having a phone, for safety reasons alone, so I really hope it is an easy and quick fix or replace (and that it is still under warranty).
I’m scrolling back through the last few days of posts, finding all the things I wanted to comment on … so please excuse the jumping-all-over-the-place nature of this post. (Though to be fair, that is generally how my brain works—or doesn’t work as the case may be.)
You said the other day that you were (and I quote) ‘slooooow’. You absolutely do not come across as slow at all. You are so articulate (and your posts are grammatically correct with accurate spelling—a sure-fire way into my good books) and your responses are always intelligent. You are super smart, @CheerBear. 🦄
I really hope your yucky appointment went okay on Friday. I’m not asking questions, just hoping all is as okay as it can be.
I saw my support facilitator (SF) on Friday afternoon. She is super, SUPER bubbly—basically the polar opposite of me. She walked in and was doing her usual bounce off the walls thing when I told her about the bus. Okay, I’m going to try to tell the super-condensed version of my week so this makes sense (although I’m pretty sure I missed out on the condensability gene). On Tuesday, my SF came to the GP with me (the GP who is very new, very unhelpful and who I really don’t like) so we could get the NDIS form filled out, which was the last piece of the NDIS application puzzle. I was dreading that appointment but it went okayish and was over fairly quickly. Afterwards we went back to my SF’s office, compiled the application and submitted it (not something I was expecting would happen on Tuesday). We emailed the application and also posted a hard copy, which we sent registered post. The idea of people seeing (and judging—because that is the point) all of those awful documents is super scary and I felt particularly unwell thinking about putting them in the mail. It felt super unsafe. On Wednesday, I checked the tracking number and the parcel was still showing as sitting at the post office. The next day, the same thing. That is when I really started to panic. Alarm bells. Bus approaching super fast. Parcel lost. Parcel in someone else’s hands. Parcel fallen off back of truck and spilled open across road. I emailed my SF and got radio silence. So when I walked into the appointment on Friday, shaking like a leaf because the parcel was apparently still sitting at the post office, I looked at her as she bubbled all over the place and just said ‘you know the NDIS parcel is missing, right?’ Instant bubble squisher (the email I sent had been blocked so she didn't know). She immediately made several phone calls to chase it up and apparently from their end, it is in transit. I’m grateful she made the calls I couldn’t make, but I don’t feel reassured at all. The tracking system is still telling me it’s at the post office (and we know it has left there, so where is it??). It feels like a giant poisonous cherry, plopped on top of giant four-month-long mess of a situation. It feels like a bus roaring towards me, ready to take me out. The idea of the right people reading those documents is bad enough, but anyone else … I am so not coping. I think that's why it was so easy to fall into such a dark place last night. Anyway, maybe it’s not a bus that is heading for me, maybe it’s a massive Australia Post B-double. 🙁

I know you can’t talk details, but your matching ink mission made me smile. It is such a tangible way of feeling connected when you can’t be together. My heart hurt lots reading about post big bang disruptions and the abundant laugh-crying of your catch-up. I’m glad there was music. 😊 I want you to know that I think about the big feelings and messes and and trickiness you face, even though you can’t talk much about things … a bit like an unspoken conversation I guess (but in an uncreepy way). 🌷
🐌 Since I started drafting this post all those hours ago, I’ve seen you popping up around the place. I hope this bodes well for the phone situation?
@CheerBear, you really are awesome. I hope today has been okay for you and the LF. Thank you again for your support and thank you for being you. 🌷🦄