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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you, @CheerBear.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'll take freaky @CheerBear

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear @Former-Member Bye to you both for now too

I'll leave both of you (and @Phoenix_Rising ) one of these each - you can decide who gets what but I suspect CB will have the middle one

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I take freaky too @Zoe7 😆

Yummo! Thank you ☺ Hope the rest of your afternoon is ok ❤

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member - I really, really, really hope that your support facilitator is supporting you this afternoon. Wish I could put a ban on buses 🌸

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear thanks for checking in. I am feeling overwhelmed and tired today but plan to come along for the Friday Feast ride. Hope you are travelling ok. Thanks for being cheery and kind 🐸

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

You gave me a smile, thanks @frog 😊 Good to see you floating (hopping?) around, even though you're feeling not so great. FF often helps perk me up when I am not feeling great too.

I'm not likely to be around for it tonight but I hope you all have fun. Please smoosh some ice-cream for me 😉 ☺

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning to all in the nest (I think ‘good’ would be a stretch).

@CheerBear I hope that you are as okay as you can be this morning, and your sibling and the LF, and that there will be some good moments over the weekend for you. 🌷🦄

@Phoenix_Rising I hope you got some sleep last night and that today is relatively unbumpy so you’ll be ready for tomorrow’s adventure (which I would also love to hear a bit about if it’s something you can or want to share). Remember, we are in the waiting place together but not, and yes it is super hard, but we’ve got this. 🌷 🐢

@Zoe7 I hope you managed to get some rest. Thank you for your company and support last night and for completely validating my big feelings. Please look after yourself and do what you need to do for you. 🌷 🦋

I know that maybe none of you will be around, especially over the weekend, and I totally get that. I won’t be too far from the computer if any of you do stop by and will have my listening eyes available and also my ‘just sitting with you’ self, if either of these are needed. I am hoping to try out the nest’s fancy bucket-vent disposal system at some point. I’ve been trying to draft something but it keeps getting super (as in ridiculously) long. When I try to rein it in though, it no longer makes sense or says what it needs to say. I’ll keep working on it.

I hope the weekend is kind to you all. Have an excellent adventure tomorrow, @Phoenix_Rising. 🌷

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning bookish ☺ It's great to see you.

I am ok enough thanks which I think means not really ok but that's ok. I would like to be able to talk some stuff through but my words are hard at the moment too (I have been trying to find them). Big, big night and my head and heart feel it today. Heading off on a mission that will hopefully feel good though. LF are doing great and they love being around these ones. They feel the love.

I really appreciate your listening eyes bookish. You've got awesome ones and your sitting company feels great, thankyou. I'll be be around from this afternoon/evening. Re last night, I had to delete the app off my phone in an attempt at waiting to use my calm (and more sober than not-sober) voice haha. I got a big laugh at ninja bear and smiled thinking you're a cat in black too 😊

Super ridiculously long is totally ok as we have super ridiculously huge buckets (I've tested them out 😉). It's also totally ok to wait until you're ready too. I have a feeling lots of listening eyes here have oodles of patience ☺

Hope there is good in your day today 🌸

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Big heart feels (and little happy tears) about the LF feeling the love. 💚 I hope you feel it too even though you get all the hard grown up stuff as well. 🌷

I am so super proud of you for deleting the app to improve your chances of waitability. 😊

I really hope your mission brings the good feels. Thank you for being you, @CheerBear. 🌷🦄

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