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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I have more stored away in a super secret location @Former-Member - hiding the last of the stash of Nutella so don't tell little turtle I can bring more out if needed

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you, @Faith-and-Hope. That really means a lot to me. Thank you for being you and for being here. 🌷

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member ...just in case...

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear dropping these of for you and LF...

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

...and this is what @Former-Member will be looking like having to approve all my images

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

You too @Former-Member ....

Love it @Zoe7 ...... 😂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

That is too funny, @Zoe7. And even if they don’t stop the bus, it will be a spectacular, orange-explodey crash. 💥

Just make sure you’re not too close—I don’t want you to be knocked out of the air by a flying cone. Eek!

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Totally @Zoe7

Look at me go!

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

We haven't even had time to set the 'waiting stopwatch' @Former-Member - you are on fire

@Former-Member I am a flutterby so I should be okay dodging the exploding orange stuff... just in case I've got this tucked away under my wing...

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Zoe7 you sure do know the way to my heart 😄 . The one on the end looks like honeycomb. I am going to pretend it is and take that one before any fish can get it, thank you! In saying that, I probably would have no fight as Puffer LOVES chocolate, Clown is a berry lover and Big is a mango thief so you've kind of whipped up the perfect dessert for my crew and I. Almost freaky 😉

@Former-Member - I giggled lots that you also took a trip to Google to work it out I am slooooow bookish. It takes big brain power to keep up here a lot of the time (not a bad thing to practice). Broken brains and big fragile hearts is probably a common experience here 🙂 Connecting with you (all) brightens my day.

I felt sad thinking of you also being in a place of wanting to make a difference but feeling so broken that you can't work or volunteer 😞 Again, I have a feeling you're in pretty good company here. It sucks heaps. I don't know if I posted it in the nest or somewhere else, or both, but right now I am trying to accept that I am at a place where my giant making a different goals have turned into little steps and bits and pieces of trying to make a difference where I can, until I can get myself back to those goals (or as baby steps to those goals). Maybe that is kind of where you are too? Either way, truly I believe and feel that you make a difference here. Just like changing the world, it is so hard to see sometimes or to know what difference is being made and how, but I can guarantee you're making a difference to one snowflakey banana head energizer bunny bear learning turtle speed too, which makes me think it is very likely you are doing the same thing to and for many 🙂

Thank you for sharing where you are at with the bus situation. I shuddered, feeling like I can imagine that feeling well, as I can very much empathise with the feeling of reaching out with little/no acknowledgment. I like Zoe's cones. I hope they work, though I too fear they may not. In which case, please know there are nests and oceans and pods and eight (twenty) sided rooms to recover from bus squishing, where little words are needed in order to be understood. And listening eyes aplenty if words start working.

Now to hit post and catch up on posts I may have missed in the time it has taken to write this 😛

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