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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sewed D up 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Her dress, lol

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Bright and bold yaaaaaay!!!! Can I vote that one please?! 😛

Awww @Former-Member - I have goosebumps of excitement for you both at such a big milestone day!

Please give you both CB squeezes from me 😄 Hope it's special and great (and you look after you too) xx

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I agree ❣️

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Were you emotional when yours graduated?
I'm all over the place
I guess seziure hospital in middle if everything didn't help

@CheerBear @Faith-and-Hope 😮💜

Trying on bold dress now. Have to choose. Wish I could put photo up so you could help choose 😂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member I get emotional when mine lose a tooth Bella and they're never allowed to grow up big enough to be doing this stuff 😉 It's so understandable that you're feeling a bit all over the place, especially with everything that has just happened 💗

The bold one, I don't even need to see it haha 😛 But the serious side tells me to say to pick the dress you feel most comfortable in though. That's the biggest most important thing really I think. It's way harder to enjoy myself when I am thinking about what I am wearing 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Yes @Former-Member ...... these are the times to be emotional about ..... and yes, it would have been anpified by the hospital stuff .....

I agree with @CheerBear. Make sure you feel comfortable, especially wearing flat shoes when you're not used to it ......

Enjoy the moments ..... ❣️

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I kept D's baby teeth @CheerBear 😂😂😂
I'm thinking bold dress too 😮😆
High shoes and take flat

@Faith-and-Hope

💟💗

Might not be able to come on here much. Too much going on. Nice to see you both 👀

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Haha I totally get the teeth keeping thing @Former-Member! Silly story about that for another time maybe. The things you find yourself doing as a mum! 😂

You look fantastic Bella and so does D. I can just tell 💗

Great to see you. Have an awesome day 😊

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Take the time you need for you and D @Former-Member ..... 🤗💕

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I decided that my what I wanted to do today was going to be make a start on the feedback form being honest not rude, from my ex-CM, even though it has some warning bells. I need to do this because it is so important to me. I won't stop at the feedback form because I think it's all rubbish and pointless and no-one is going to listen anyway, plus I figured there would be more I have to say than what is on the form, but it felt important to do anyway. I thought it would be ugh but did not expect to find what I have.

The answer boxes are tiny. One of the questions is about what the organisation did that was unhelpful. I don't even have room to write "provide a 6.5cm x 2cm box to answer this incredibly important question", let alone actually provide feedback about my over one year being a client with them. Even worse is that there is a question about what the organisation did that was helpful and it asks for three responses. They have given 3 times the room on the form for this question than for the others that are SO important!

Grrrrrrr! I want to do something about this and I don't know where to start with it. I need to do something about it, for myself and for all the other people out there who need this to change. Where do I start and how do I do it though? (this is a genuine question if anyone has any ideas they can think of and feel ok to/can say) 😞 This is all part of the lost feelings now.

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