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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

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Hi @Faith-and-Hope,
Thank you for thinking of me.
I'm still floating around a little bit.

I just found life was busy and certain aspects/people on the forum were impacting me quite negatively.
I'm okay atm. Had a bit of a dip. Then had meds increased, to much positive effect.
Therapy is hard and goddamned expensive and I don't know what it all means.

People who sexually abuse, physically hurt, emotionally abuse and neglect children are fuck-heads.

Uni is really hard and not going all that great.

How are you @Faith-and-Hope? What's been happening on your world?

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

And "Hi" to @Teej if she's floating around.
You're often in my thoughts.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

We are (finally) undergoing some therapy ourselves @Former-Member ..... not that we have reached the core yet ...... and it's turbulent, as you might expect ......

Have to say I agree with you (above) and probably couldn't have said it better myself .....

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi in the nest ☺

@Former-Member - wanted to say hi and that I'm thinking of you, wondering how you're getting on (no need to reply unless you wanted to) 🌸

Thanks for the flowers @Zoe7. Some of my favourites in that bunch. LOVE the colours ❤

Nice to see you @Former-Member ☺

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Broken, scared, hiding. Just trying to stay out of everyone’s way. Thanks for checking in with me, though @CheerBear. 🦄

I hope you got a good helping of mowing-freedom-satisfactiony vibes this morning and that the day is a gentle one. 😊 🌷

I hope the day is being kind to everyone. 🌷

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Broken scared and hiding sounds pretty horrible @Former-Member 🙁 Thank you for replying, epsecially when you're feeling like that.

The mowing was fantastic thank you and the whippersnippering was as fun as it usually is. Loud angry and messy 😉

Caring lots bookish and here if it could help sometime 🌸

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you, @CheerBear. I really appreciate that. 🌷

Loud, angry, messy whippersnippering does sound pretty awesome. 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

It's like constructive destruction @Former-Member 😆

Please don't stay out of the way unless it's what you really truly want to do. (Enough nudging from me now)

Hope the afternoon is kind to you ☺

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest


@CheerBear wrote:
It's like constructive destruction @Former-Member 😆

Please don't stay out of the way unless it's what you really truly want to do.

@Former-Member just to clarify, I think @CheerBear means don't stay out of the way while zooming around Forum Land in your book pod. Definitely DO stay out of the way of a melted snowflakey banana headed carebear armed with a whipper snipper!!!

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you for clarifying this @Phoenix_Rising. I laughed a lot, especially considering that on my best days I am incredibly clumsy and the whipper snipper is waaaay too tall for me even on the shortest height. No-one, not even me, should be near me while I am armed with anything really, but definitely not a power tool 😛

So while you're kind of here, I am planning on learning the entire interpersonal effectiveness module over the weekend so I can approach my case closure meeting on Monday morning, skillfully. Yay for skills 🙂 Let's see how much I can jam into that banana head 😉
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