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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Hi @Former-Member @Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member 🤗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Haha 😂 schrondingers CATT @Phoenix_Rising. I half want to place tiny turtle on the empty chair that will be next to me if/when I next have to step foot in their den (or whatever a catt equivalent is) partially so I can see their reaction when I do, but also to open up the opportunity for questions about what/why it's/you're there/here. Will take a photo if I do 😛

@Former-Member - Being a high achiever definitely comes with some stress, poor chicken. As for your body and the stress you're experiencing, it sounds like it's all kind of caught up with you. Sorry to hear your family have made it harder for you. It's hard enough without having the additional mess around of an unsupportive family.

I understand why you'd try to use your time on here as a bit of an escape from your own stuff. I guess one of the great things about a place like this is that people understand how mental health stuff can play around with everything, so you don't have to worry so much about being able to share good and bad times here. That's kind of what I'm feeling at least. I like listen, chat and laugh too 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hello there @outlander (i still go to tag you as lil-caterpillar and my phone still wants me to haha!) 🙂 I was just about to wander over to your thread to catch up on what's been happening. Popping over to 5-hts thread first to answer those questions I think. Super excited to see a thread like that! Hope you're going well tonight 💗

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @outlander. Like @CheerBear, I was just about to wander over to find you on another thread. I am heading off now (really - even though I keep getting sidetracked!!!), but I wanted to let you know I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Just think, this time tomorrow your adventure will be over and you will hopefully be feeling the super empowered feeling, knowing that you have done something that you were super scared about doing.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Your not the only one who stll does that lol i know another person not pointing fingers or anything @Former-Member 😂😂😂😂
Yes im popping over there soon just drawing atm but low on energy so if i dont do it tonight ill do it tomorrow

@Phoenix_Rising yes im hoping to get through and itll be a great achievement if i can get through it and thanks for thinking of me i hope youve been ok

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Nighty night @CheerBear @Former-Member @outlander @Phoenix_Rising and all nest dwellers 😀😴
Sleep well. 💟💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm so sad today. I went out for a while and saw life moving and happening around me. I'm not part of it any more. I've lost a connection with something, maybe with everything. I feel irreparably damaged and know this break won't fix how broken everything is and it will just cause others pain and stress. I'm lost at sea and sinking. I want to snap out of it so badly. I wish so much that I could tell myself to get over it, suck it up and move on but I can't anymore. I have run out of things to try to do to fix it all. I feel stuck somewhere between wanting to break free and wanting to give in and I don't like being here at all.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I hear you @CheerBear. I too have lost all connection with the world. I guess we share the connection of disconnect my not-friend. 😕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I know how you feel @CheerBear 👋💟🐻
Feeling the same.
It's an awful place to be.
Just letting you know, I'm here with you in the nest where it's safe.
Hopefully we'll find a way forward soon.
I hate watching life pass by and feel hopeless in joining in with life.
Hearing you. 😙

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Me too with above. I don't know how to do this anymore. 😢 Huge struggle day. 😢 I just want it over 😢
321 - 330 of 5,090