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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear and anyone else who happens to be in the nest.

@CheerBear, I’ve been trying to reply for hours but my brain doesn’t want to cooperate. 🙁 I will try again tomorrow. Your post really made me smile but my mood is hideously low tonight. I’ll be better in the morning. I’m feeling extra grateful for the safety of my book-pod right now. (Thanks @Zoe7 and @Phoenix_Rising.) In case I don’t manage to post beforehand, I hope the inspection tomorrow is as stress-free as it can be.

Thank you everyone for being awesome, for being here and for being you.

Good night. 🌷

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear, @Former-Member, @Maggie, @Former-Member and everyone,

I need the nest today, in my home life too. Bad chest cold has laid me low physically, and mood is flagging with it too, though I've done well with patience over about six days of it up until now. But have only had a couple of hours sleep overnight, partly due to asthma from the cold, partly due to being an incorrigible night owl sometimes, even after years of trying to get the night owl to wake by day, and even when I know well I would be far better looking after my body much more kindly than I do.

But even if I can't get myself to go back for more sleep, for fear of the coughing that starts up every time I lie down, I can at least be as soft, gentle, and slow-paced as possible today. Even when I'm doing some of the self-nurturing things wrong, I can do some of them right (I hope).

Hope the day treats everyone kindly, regardless of how well or otherwise you might feel, and that there is something to interest you, something to nurture you and other good moments, at the least.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sounds awful @Mazarita 💜
Lots of rest for you.

Hi @CheerBear and hello to @Former-Member
Nice to meet you.
As usual I've been feeling terrible, but I don't want to sound too depressing.
Just wanted to say "hi" and thinking of you all.

💜💕
🌸🌼🌹
🐛🐌🐞🐝🐉
☕🍰

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Mazarita. I'm so sorry to hear you've been as knocked about as you have by your chest cold. I read in the rave about how bad it has gotten 😞

I'm snuggling in a nest at the moment too. Perhaps we could share a pot of lemon tea and just sit for a bit? It's really warm and cosy and quiet which sounds pretty good to me right now.

Sending you huge get better soon thoughts and big hugs. Sickness and lack of sleep are a hard combo.

Hi @Former-Member. Thank you for coffee and cake. I've been wondering how you've been getting on. Bug hugs to you also 💗

@Former-Member - I hope your mood has lifted a bit from the hideously low of last night. Those moods are tough. Your book-pod looks awesomely safe and cosy 🌸

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Mazarita Sound awful. 💕💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Okay, let’s try again.

Hi everyone in the nest. I hope it is a storm-free day for you all. Sorry to hear you’re feeling so awful, @Mazarita. I hope you feel better soon. And I hope things ease up a bit soon for you too, @Former-Member. Hi @Maggie.

Hello @CheerBear. I wanted to start by letting you know I will always reply. Sometimes it just takes me a while. I draft things really slowly. I often spend hours agonising over a 2 line email or post because I need to be as sure as possibly can be that what I am writing is conveying what it is I'm actually trying to say. Being a huge worrier myself, I never want to give people a reason to worry, so I’ll always reply even if it’s just to say I can’t really reply (if that makes sense?). Also, I’m aware that, having reached page 310 in my nest-reading journey yesterday, I know more about you now than you know about me, so please feel free to ask questions if you want to. 🌷

Your shoe lace story made me smile. One thing that was clearly evident as I read my way through the nest was that your LF are so lucky to have you. You are an amazing mum. The hugeness of the love you have for your LF and how deeply you care about them almost makes my heart explode (as I wrote that I realised how violent it sounds … but it’s a good thing, truly). 😊💚

I was sad to read more about your study interruption, but your plans to change the world really made me smile. People like you and @Phoenix_Rising honestly give me hope for the future (and given most of the time I don’t see a future for myself, that’s no mean feat). 😊

I ordered The Gifts of Imperfection the other night. I had a look at the index pages of the books online first and because I’m getting a book-book (as opposed to audio), I think it will be a good place for me to start. I love that quote, by the way. I really hope I can find my light.

I’m still feeling quite low today, but that’s my default. I think the additional crash was mostly because of the amount of social interaction I’ve had in the last few days—here and seeing my uni friend yesterday. It tends to wipe me out.

I hope everything goes okay today. 🌷

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Former-Member I've also ordered the book book, looking for the light also. Hope your day is okish.:ok_hand:

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Maggie. I hope we can both find ‘the infinite power of our light’, though to be honest I’d be grateful for the tiniest glimmer right about now. 🕯

Maybe we should set up a new Brene Brown bookclub type thread once we start reading so we can share highlights? I think others would be interested, too. 🙂

My day has been kind of okay, thank you. I hope yours has been too. 🌷

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member I like that idea. id like a bit of light myself round about now. I'll search out a candle to share if you'd like. I've actually order 3 of the books you've been talking about, I read threads but don't often post. Off to find a candle, hope we don't set the nest on fire😧😧😧😧😧😮😮😮😮❤️

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

There you are @Former-Member

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