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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hahaha I was honestly logging on to say to @Phoenix_Rising that sitting with me while I laugh-cry is really helpful, and then I really laughed seeing your comment too @Maggie XD Thank you!

I laugh-cried while I went for a long walk around the shopping centre car park trying to find my car and work out how many hours I think I've spent wandering around car parks looking for it after forgetting where I parked following taking a hit from a curveball.

Since coming home I've tried to think and do everything I can to fix it and not much has worked, so I think I'll stop now and wait until Monday when maybe my MH worker will be able to see a way through it that I can't yet.

Thank you both 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear @Phoenix_Rising @Maggie 👋


Coffee and cake looks delicious CheerBear 💟
Thanks for thinking of me.



Being alive is so hard.

🌹🌼🌸🌹🌼🌸🌹🌼🌸🌹🌼🌸

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Often thinking of you @Former-Member. Being alive can definitely feel hard sometimes. Here if you want to chat about it sometime or not (and we just sit), and there are others who would be happy to listen too. Lots of people care about you. Wishing things were easier for you ❤

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Feeling physically worse, to be honest @CheerBear 🐻
Causing depression to be worse.
Feels hopeless.
I have no answer, no solution anymore.
Tried everything
Tired of trying.
Same :pile_of_poo:every day.

How are you this afternoon?
💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

That link between physical and mental health is huge @Former-Member. Both seem to impact on each other and bounce off each other 😞 I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so tired and at a loss. Have you seen your GP lately?

I'm feeling better this afternoon than I was earlier thanks. Kids came home trying to get along (woohoo) so we're just waiting for a game to download (which is taking ages with our dodgy internet connection) and then we'll play it together for a while.

How's D going? Busy with exams soon yeah?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

GP doesn't have any answers @CheerBear
But I'm thinking maybe I should have tests.
It's not right to feel like this when I try so hard to be healthy/well.
I'm not the greatest at making appointments when I'm so low.

Hubby and I live as separately as possible and when we see each other, we just argue. 😕
It's really :pile_of_poo:

Yes, lots of assignments due and exams soon. Super busy.

I'll let you play with LF now.

I might try and food shop.
Haven't been this week. 😮
Hmm! Maybe not.
I just want to sleep all the time.

Sorry to be so down.

💟

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Please don't be sorry for being down here and talking about it @Former-Member. I'm really glad to hear from you, regardless of what you feel like at the time. Trying to make and get to and think about appointments and tests and things is about a billion times harder when I'm feeling really rubbish. But I guess that's part of it to hopefully uncover a way to feel better. Overwhelming but maybe an important thing to do.

I had a feeling things were really difficult between you and hubby. That's seriously tough sorry 😞

Food shopping sucks. We're having sneaky oven snacks tonight. I couldn't do it properly today and it was food shopping day here. LF not going to be happy about having to go tomorrow.

I am going to head off to play with them now but I will be back later.

Thanks for chatting Bella. Wish I could shop for you tonight (or just eat cake with you) 💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

😢💜 @CheerBear

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

😔🙁 @Former-Member 💔💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member - I'm back. Kids all settled and avada kedavra-ing so if you'd to chat or not or laugh-cry or do a raid over a Friday Feast (once someone starts dinner) we can 🙂

💗
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