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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

That's great @CheerBear 💟

Good on you. 🌷🌺🌻🌸🌼🌹

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear, fantastic news about your plan to slowly return to study!!! More congrats that you have this thought out and know the steps to make it a reality! I know from past posts you've made just how much this would mean to you. Big congratulations on making this decision!!!!!

Hi @Former-Member and other nesters.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Mazarita 💜

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you @Former-Member and @Mazarita 🙂

If I happen to come back from my appointment posting that I just couldn't help it and I enrolled to start asap and I am buried in a pile of super exciting textbooks and may never surface again, please feel free to direct me to these words of mine that say:

"Waiting will be worth it. Security, stability and safety has to happen properly first!" (even if it is so annoying and I feel I have waited long enough already 😉

Thanks for the encouragement (as always)

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear, great to hear your excitement! Also great to hear your wisdom about taking it step by step, so as to have the foundations in place first. That way you will have a much better chance of succeeding with everything, study included. But starting the ball rolling shines a big ray of sunshine on your future even now. Really really happy for you, CB.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear My day is improving. Washing made it to the line, big achievment. Picked up new glasses, that will take a bit of adjusting too while my brain accepts the change, but eventually it will be good. Big happy face, I found a lolly shop and bought a scoop of this and that, now, chomp, chomp. Wish I could share some. LF will be home soon, hope your evening goes okish. 💟💟

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Maggie 🙂 Well done on the washing! Do you like your new glasses? I get attached to mine and find it hard to let go of them, until I reeeeeally have to. Yay for a lolly shop too - that's a great day in my books 😉 !

I have some jars sterilising at the moment to make lemon curd. I think I was inspired by your delicious apple/cinnamon thingy last night @Former-Member, and that will be my sweet treat (if it works and I can find what to do with i!). I've never made it before and there's a very good chance it won't turn out the way it should.

Hope your evening goes well too, thanks Maggie 💓

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good evening @Maggie @Former-Member @CheerBear and anyone else in the nest right now.

Your news about planning a return to uni is super busting exploding exciting @CheerBear. Enrolling and then deferring until second semester sounds like a super idea!

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you @Phoenix_Rising 🙂 I did/do feel a bit super busting exploding excited 😄

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Former-Member - I didn't see you around last night so I am not sure whether you caught that there's a notifications glitch happening at the moment. I thought I would let you know here just in case you decide to swing past and say hi (or drop off some of your delicious treats) and when you log on you wonder why it seems so quiet.

I hope today is ok for you. I would leave you a coffee and cake but I am on my laptop so this will have to do

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