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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
I made pancakes too and made apple/blueberry fruit thingy with maple syrup and cinnamon. 😀
I hope you have a nice evening with your kitty cat.
That's good your LF went to bed early @CheerBear👍💕 Relax time for you. I made it out for a walk.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member Pancakes and apple/blueberry fruit thingy sounds yummy. I'm impressed with your cooking skills. Hope you have a nice evening also.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
I guess it shows that I have improved in my health, even though, often it doesn't feel like it. I used to find it too stressful cooking roast and pancakes in the same day. It pays to look st small steps forward.
💜@Maggie
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member Yes small steps. I can't cook full stop. So hearing of creativity in the kitchen I find amazing. I watch tv cooking shows just amazed at what can be done. My microwave is all I use.lol
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
I'm amazed too, lol, re me baking @Maggie
Nighty night ❤
Night night @CheerBear💜 and everyone.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning in the nest (sneaking it in before afternoon) ☺
I've just done something big and scary but exciting, and I've made an appointment to speak with a course advisor so I can begin the process of returning to study! After speaking with my MH worker today, we've come up with a plan to get me back! I so SO badly want to dive in right now but I can't yet, with housing things, health stuff, and other "stuff" to work through, so my hope to return at the start of next year isn't really realistic (probably). But I can start preparing for mid year intake now and will do that possibly by applying, hopefully enrolling, and then deferring for a semester. Plans are good for me and they make me feel like things WILL actually happen eventually. Plans can also be adjusted if things happen (as they tend to do). I like plans.
I'm a little bit excited and wanted to share it ☺
I hope everyone is going ok today 😊
In response to: I'm in a nest
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Quiet little woo-hoo here for you @CheerBear ..... 🎉
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