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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

May I join you @CheerBear? 💟
I'm not really feeling up to chatting just now, but here with you. 🐻

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @Former-Member. I like that there are people who come and sit in the nest with me for a moment, which you've just done thank you 🙂 An opportunity for rest is coming soon but I have to ride it out until then. When I write about being in the nest and imagine what it would feel like, it has a strangely big effect on my body. I feel as if I am here. I guess it's kind of a cheerbear style meditation or visualisation. Until the real rest comes, I guess imagining one is next best 🙂

Hope today is going ok for you LJ. My LF are intense today so I can't stick around resting for long. I'm sure you know what that's like! Hugs your way 💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Cushion right here next to me @Former-Member. No chatting, just resting 💗 Sweet dreams

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Mind it a join you @Former-Member @CheerBear im shaking beyond belief and i really could use a soft cushion

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Ok. I'm here relaxing and resting with you @CheerBear 💜👋🐻

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear I'm with you too thinking of you

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

hello @CheerBear,

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

sitting with you @CheerBear

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Shaz51, @Pepsimax and @Former-Member 💛 It's nice 'hanging' out with you all 🙂

I'm having a lovely moment enjoying some beautiful afternoon sun that I wasn't expecting to see, with biggest reading next to me. These calm and ok moments are very welcome and appreciated!

I have not only survived but stayed chill through the daily catt poke and prod too. I'm kind of proud of that because I have fought for them to understand how nasty it can feel when they do it so I think we have a better understanding happening now which will help. Things have been hard so it will be good if they don't add to it at the least, and maybe can even support me if I ask. Just wanted to share that one because I think it's some progress in both directions 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Shaz51 - I LOVE that image! 💛 Thank you 🙂
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