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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Wish I could get a pic of these guys to share but they're so fast @Mazarita! One day I'll catch them!

Hope you slept well too and today is a good one for you 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I slept well once I finally got to sleep. I think I heard @Phoenix_Rising snoring in my pocket last night, but I don't mind snoring. I kind of find it comforting to think that someone is sleeping soundly. Sleep sounded very much needed for many here last night!

Off to say a quick hello in an eight sided room before heading out with the LF for the morning. This is our weekly thing and sometimes I get to step aside and sit quietly for a couple of hours so I'm taking some yarn with me and hoping today is one of those days 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Goodmorning @CheerBear ❤

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Morning @outlander 🙂 Sorry if I didn't reply properly to you last night. I was in a bit of a whirlpool again and don't do so well when there's lots happening while I am spinning. I hope you settled ok too. I noticed you were going through some tricky stuff and was sending you my best wishes, even if you couldb't hear them. I am heading out now but hoping you have a good day today 💛

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thats ok @CheerBear i know you wasnt ignoring me. I know you dont deal well with being really overwhelmed so i understand. Here for you too even if i dont comment at your whirlpool times ❤❤❤❤❤

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning all nest dwellers. I had a super good night's sleep and I am ready to keep on keeping on again now. Sorry about the snoring @CheerBear. Your pocket is a super snuggly place to sleep.

@Former-Member it sounds like you put a huge amount of thought and care into that long post you wrote here in the nest last night. This human interaction thing is HARD isn't it. It must be really tough constantly second-guessing yourself. Once again, I am giving thanks for my simple little aspie brain. I can see that I don't get tangled up in some of the muddles that others here do.

I think we have both agreed @Former-Member that you and I tend not to engage heaps because our muddles are so similar in a lot of ways. On the one hand, it is super nice to know there is someone there who gets it...but then, when the muddles are TOO similar, it can be triggering. I super wish we could sit down in the real world and share our muddles. I think that would be really cool. But in Forum Land, I know I at least need to be a bit careful of avoiding triggers and I am guessing you might be the same. I'm totally ok with the fact that we don't engage heaps. It doesn't mean I have any sort of issue with you at all and I figure you don't have any issue with me either. It's just that our muddles are likely to trigger each other if we talk about them in depth too much to each other. I just wanted to share all that in case you ever fret over me "ignoring" you at any time.

Anyway, yesterday was yesterday, and today is today. Today it is super sunny here in Sydney and I don't plan to spend it in front of the computer. I hope everyone has a super nice day.

In response to: I'm in a nest

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Former-Member 🙂 thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful post and for sharing your insight here. It's very appreciated.

I will come back and reply properly later, hopefully when my non-virtual ocean has settled this afternoon and my mind is a bit calmer. I did want to say hi and thanks first though.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm exhausted. I'm feeling beaten up and knocked about and so badly need it to ease up, at least until I have a chance to catch up a bit. The nest is a good place to imagine and feel what it would be like to be able to do what I want and need, rather than what I have to do.

So I'm crawling into the nest this afternoon. As soon as I am inside I lie down. I'm lying on a pile of soft cushions and I take one and curl myself around it. I'm too tired to get up and get a blanket so I am very thankful that it is warm and snug inside. It's not too dark in here, I can see what's inside the nest if I want, but it's not too bright either. It's quiet and calm in here and my mind is silent and still. I close my eyes and relax knowing that I can sleep for as long as I need because there's nothing to worry about for a while.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I like the idea of imagining the things that you want! Anything in particular that you'd like? 🙂
glad the nest is snug and warm! @CheerBear
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