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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks so much @Mazarita for being here. I am feeling really cosy and calm at the moment and think I'm going to be able to go to sleep pretty easily soon, so I'm going to log off and do that. I really appreciate it though (and appreciate you in general). Thank you for your lovely message earlier.

I haven't ventured particularly far from here today so I haven't caught up on many happenings. But I hope today had something good in it for you.

Off to wander/swim to the ocean to check in there, and then cuddle a purring Mouse xo💗

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Nightie night, beautiful, @CheerBear. Yes, today has been fine here. Tomorrow is a new day.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest,

I've been sitting here for a few hours now, trying to understand an impossible to understand loop of annoying 'dates vs days of the week being not the same' thing. It has felt like being stuck and banged about with a double hit of memories of both the day of the week and the date. There are things I wish I could share here because I know it would be understood, but I can't. So I will say it without saying it, and trust that's enough.
It's been a really frustrating morning as I just can't understand this day/date thing and I feel like I've been driving myself mad trying to. I've tried writing it all out, tried posting about it, tried distracting myself from it, but it didn't help me understand.
I crawled into the nest and my answer was here all along
I don't have to understand it, I just have to trust it. I felt so much more ok when I remembered this. I am really looking forward to having my version of it stamped on myself where I can see it everyday and I won't forget it. I've picked a day and a date that is significant as it was both the end and the start because of the date and the day of the week, and it will be the end and the start again this year.
So I'm going to sit here with my coffee, waiting to really feel this message kick in, and then I will get up out and carry on living in Wednesday the 27th of September 2017, even if it is frustrating and tricky.
I hope today has something good in it for anyone reading along.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Having coffee now too @CheerBear ☕🍰

Sending love and hugs. 😙💗💟

Traumatic memories are exactly that; traumatic .
Hoping you'll get through the day as smoothly as possible with the revelation you have. That, you are learning to trust the journey even though you don't understand it.
Hang in to those words today.

Sometimes things that happen will never make sense, especially traumatic events.

You'll get through this because you are wise, strong, determined and positive.
A positive attitude is so important.

🐝🐞🐲🐉🌹🌼🌹🌼🌹🌼🌹🐝🐞🐲🐉

If I remember correctly it's your fun adventure day. I hope you enjoy it as much as possible with your LF.

Are they feeling better now?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning @Former-Member 😊

I had big heart fuzzies reading your post thank you. I knew you'd be one who got it 💗

We had to move our fun day out today to tomorrow to give the LF one more recovery day. They've all complained of having really sore legs (I think this was more than a cold) and big who was the last to come down with it is still in some pain. The other two are much better now so if this follows the same course, big should be feeling better again by tomorrow too. So it's a housework day for me, a run feral with cabin fever day for middle and little (ugh), and a rest up day for big. I haven't gotten whatever they had so a big yay here as it hasn't been good at all.

How are you going? Have you been getting out and about with D some more?

☕🍰🐞🐛🤗💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Aww! Sorry to hear your LF are still unwell. @CheerBear 💟
Will reply more another time, I have to get moving. Sorry 🌷🌼

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Still getting ready, lol @CheerBear
Had to have sleep med 4am this morning so you can imagine how I'm feeling. 😮😣😨😩
Hoping your day is ok. 💜
I found a small chocolate flake 😮😂
I pinched it out of D's packet that she took to friend's party last night. 😂 (she knew) 😀
Just had it with coffee.
One for you, I wish it was real. ☕🍩

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear Hope you are enjoying your coffee. I understand what you are saying. Sending a warm hug about to have a coffee myself.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Maggie 😊💜

Coffee for you. ☕🍰

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member Hi, thanks, the coffee is great. Love your rose pic shaped like a heart. Gives me a warm feeling everytime I see it.

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