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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
In bed finally. 😴 Glad you're enjoying your crocheting. @CheerBear I'm going to try and sleep now. I hope you're ok. 💟
Me, I'm achey, have swollen glands etc, thanks for asking. I'll be ok though. It's you I'm concerned about. I hope you'll be able to sleep soon.
Nighty night. 😴💜
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Nighty night @Former-Member😴💜
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @Former-Member
I hope you sleep well and the aches ease tomorrow
hugs💜🤗😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hugs @CheerBear hope you're ok tonight, storms and whirlwinds do pass xx But will be here with you through them anyways!
@Former-Member I hope you wake up feeling better and not worse tomorrow, and that you sleep well tonight!
@Former-Member hugs to you too, 🙂
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Yes I think that's a super idea that we both try to remember our hearts are in the right place, we're doing the best we can and maybe we don't need so many sorries 🙂 But I also think maybe it's in our nature sometimes and we're human and we make mistakes. So we can forgive mistakes sometimes if sorry slips out too (and well most other mistakes which are bound to happen sometimes)!
Teej - while we're chatting and working out tricky stuff, I wanted to let you know that sometimes if I don't reply to your posts, it's because I don't want you to feel like I am annoying or overbearing. I could chat to most people here for hours but know that not everyone can do that so I don't want to put that pressure on. Far out it can get tricky sometimes to work out what's happening for someone and what is their ok and not ok stuff! I'm still learning all of this and getting to know everyone.
I hope things feel better soon, for anyone who has seen or been effected by trickiness that's happened and brewed from my storm/s. I'm not apologising again, but I do feel sad.
Tomorrow is a new day. Thanks Teej for being willing to put your neck out. I'm actually feeling better for it. I hope there's someone else out there who knows I didn't mean to hurt them or drive them away now too.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Sleep well and hope you feel better soon @Former-Member💛
Thank you @Former-Member🙂 It's so appreciated.
I'm going to head off while I'm feeling a bit better. I hope everyone else is ok too and sleeps well.
And thanks again, for being here, for caring enough to have tricky conversations and for being you all
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Yeah it does get tricky @CheerBear. We are all unique and have different triggers and ways of dealing with things. If I'm honest I'm really really struggling on the forum and second guessing everything and that is just stuff I'm going through and nothing to do with anyone. Something kind of snapped a few months ago in me and since I've been struggling to find my place back on the forum and in life. I swear it has nothing to do with anyone. I'm very hit and miss and have not really been me in that I used to find it easy to post but I'm struggling sometimes. However I've been very lucky in that I've received lots of support in the past and I hope I can to return it or pay it forward to those I've connected with when they are in distress or crisis. I just need to calm a bit sometimes :face_with_rolling_eyes:.
Im about to head off. I have 8 hours of football to watch tomorrow :face_with_rolling_eyes: My sons are all playing in different games. Wishing you all the best Sleep well 💜🤗😴😴😴😴
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning, @CheerBear and all, early rise today and stopping in here for a little while to just sit quietly. Or chat if anyone else feels like it, I'm up for that too.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning @Mazarita and anyone else who is around 🙂
It's lovely to see you. Did you get to sneak a sunrise in this morning? It's very cloudy here and drizzly but there are still plenty birds around happy in it all.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear, today dawn snuck up on me and by the time I looked it was already day! Since the weather has cooled, the glass doors have been shut and so I'm not hearing the birds so much either. But I'm so glad to hear you are enjoying the morning birdsong today. Hope you slept well too.
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