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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
Sorry about the house @CheerBear . It still makes sense to feel upset by it. You care about the outcome because it's an important living/safety thing for you and the LF, so it's ok to feel upset when it doesn't work out. Take it easy today. Nothing real-estate happens on a Sunday. But I hope something comes up for you soon.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear, I'm sorry. 🌹🌷🌸🌼🌻
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
This is a superly duperly quick flyby just to say hello...so...hello.
@CheerBear It super sucks about the house. I super wish I could make a house magically appear for you and your LF. I am sure one will appear at some point (heck, if a turtle whisperer can suddenly appear, then ANYTHING can suddenly appear!!!!), but I can well imagine how horribly stressful it must be waiting for this to happen. I superly duperly hope it happens super soon.
Hi @Former-Member@Teej@Former-Member@TheVorticon@Faith-and-Hope and anyone else snuggled in the nest tonight.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning in the nest. Thanks for the messages F&H, TheVorticon, 5-HT and Phoenix_rising.
I'm feeling like rubbish this morning. I'm teary, tired, emotional, hormonal, stressed and just blegh. Although the LF and I had a really nice day together yesterday, I went to bed and melted into a puddle in my pink fluffy blanket. I missed our old home so much last night. The sadness is so painful sometimes. I wonder when it will stop hurting as much.
I think I will have to deal with the heater because it is still freezing here, even though we're getting hints of better weather. We've got sick bugs running through the house and we are in need of it being warmer than it is. I felt really bad for the LF last night after I needed to use buckets of hot water to fill and keep the bath warm, then having them get out of it in a seriously cold house. I'm so scared of calling about the heater because it was the tipping point for the owner last time. It's not even the threat of eviction that I am worried about now, it's that there's actually nowhere else to go if he does crack it, and it's me being scared of what his 'cracking it' might look like. I was really hoping we would have some good news about the other house, so at least I could get an idea of how much longer we would need to tolerate this, but I'm back to square one again. It's hard and frustrating and I don't want to do it. I will but I don't want to. I don't know how to magically pull an affordable, not-falling-apart, house in (or not too far from) this area out of thin air, but my plan today and tomorrow and the next day and the day after... is to keep trying to, even though it feels completely hopeless at the moment.
I hope today brings something good for us all. The flowers in our pots that will come with us wherever we go, are looking really pretty - that's my good this morning.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
{Wanders in and snuggles into @CheerBear's pocket with Squishy, Mr Seahorse and Dr Havetodo so that @CheerBear knows she isn't alone}.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thank you @Phoenix_Rising. At least I have some stuff to practice new skills with while this is all going down. I hope the day ahead is good for you, whatever it is you're up to 🙂
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear my day will be mostly about getting through my marking gig. I'm super glad you have the DBT manual to help you navigate your current muddle. I super can't wait for us to get into DBT together but not.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear ..... 🤗💕
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I'm practicing patience while you finish your marking gig @Phoenix_Rising😄
They're soooooo pretty @Faith-and-Hope💗🌻🏵🌹🌺🌷 Do you (or anyone) know if we have a garden/ing thread around here? I've tried to find one but haven't and think a virtual collection of our garden pretties/would like to have pretties, could be a nice place to visit.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @CheerBear .... 💕
There is a Gardening as Therapy thread on C-forum ..... definitely think we need one on LE-forum too ......
Heading out now ..... have wifi at the cafe .... 😏 ..... see ya soon .....
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