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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
Hey @CheerBear does the heater warm the water too not good especially when cold where you are you seem to have lots going on and struggling atm I feel for you things can get better just hard when you're in rhe middle of it don't want to minimize your stuff I have been doing really well lately staying on top of things the majority of the time so good
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hey @Pepsimax🙂 The heater and the water are two separate issues unfortunately. Things will get better someday, I believe it too. I don't know how or when or where but they will. I'm not going to give up trying to get there. (I might spend the rest of day flattened and lying on the lounge in a pool of sadness after getting confirmation the house was leased and then sinking a bit further after looking for houses that don't exist here, but I'll get up again soon enough 😉 )
I'm really happy for you that you're doing so well at the moment. That makes me smile heaps to think of 🙂 Have you got any plans today?
In response to: I'm in a nest
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hugs @CheerBear .... 💜
Hi @Pepsimax .....
In response to: I'm in a nest
PepsimaxSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hey @CheerBear sorry you didn't get the house hopefully something will come up soon I hope so for you and LF I'm thinking of you Hi @Faith-and-Hope are you back from your walk
In response to: I'm in a nest
PepsimaxSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear having a quiet day today
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Pepsimax, hope you enjoy your quiet day today 🙂
I think I'm going to have to unpuddle myself from the lounge sooner than planned after I replied to my CM via email in maybe a bit too much of a reacting way. It's a warning that I need to get up and do something different now before I get too much more angry and sad, so I might head out for a while.
Thanks for the company this morning pepsimax 💗
In response to: I'm in a nest
PepsimaxSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear sounds like a plan where are you thinking of going last week when I went shopping with my friend I bought the last couple of seasons of law and order so going to put that on now my favorite show
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I just went for a drive for a while @Pepsimax🙂
Hope you're enjoying your show
In response to: I'm in a nest
PepsimaxSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi again @CheerBear did the drive help at all are you feeling any calmer the show is good thanks
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