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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks for that info and tip @eth 🙂

This one isn't public housing in the traditional sense, it's community housing from what I can tell which seems to have differences. From what I understand from the very little info I was given, it's been offered to the service my case manager works for from a community housing organisation. They have 48 hours to find someone to put in it before it is offered to another organisation. My CM wants my decision first thing this morning so she can offer it to another client if I say no, before it isn't available for them at all.

It won't hinder my public housing application, but I'm not expecting that a PH will be offered to us as there is a waitlist of many years.

The other thing is that we're currently housed via a different organisation (to all of the above), in a program for people in our situation. As of last week we lodged an official complaint, which yesterday I heard was currently under investigation with the outcomes of the complaint and options for resolution expected. I have no idea when that might happen, but it was escalated to a pretty high level so I'm hoping it won't be too far away.

It's all so incredibly complicated and so difficult to navigate, and kind of brutal sometimes, as I'm sure you and anyone else in the 'system' can understand :S

I will definitely keep in mind the idea of getting some supporting documentation if anyone wants to kick up a stink about my determination to keep the kids here. I don't think I would have thought to do that, so that helps to know for sure.

Thanks heaps @eth 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

You put a smile on my dial this morning reading your posts @CheerBear. Just quietly I think I would have done the same thing. After my Big Bang I often drove 90km round trip to keep my littlest shark at his school for stability and support. There was a bus 30 km round trip we used mostly. The school was a huge part of my boys getting through too. They were very supportive. I lived away from the school for my mental health. I had to drive him back into the area of my Big Bang so it was a very different situation.

PS the smile wasn't for the decision you made but for the processes you went through and how you've come through it. I very much saw both sides of this. It wouldn't have mattered what decision as long as you could get through and feel like there was a direction and light at the end of the tunnel still. I loved that you made this decision based on values. Well done you! 💜🤗💐

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Big hugs @CheerBear 💜
Big decision, but I know you'll make the right one.
Sounds like possibility of another good house will turn up. ☕🍰



Hi everyone. 👋💜☕🍰

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Wow - that's a huge effort @Teej. Your littlest shark is so lucky to have had a mum to do that for him! Thank you teej, for your understanding and gentle encouragement 💗

@eth - I spoke to the assistant principal this morning who said they'd be more than willing to advocate and support us in whatever way they could to stay here if we needed to. The VP said they spoke to the principal about the situation and both said they'd build a unit on the oval to keep us at the school if we needed haha 😉 It made me feel really good to know for sure they will back us if it could help.

Hi @Former-Member ☺ I 'see' you there too (I sound like you now!). How are you? Is it coffee o'clock? ☕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Yes, coffee time @CheerBear ☕🍰 👀👋

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Me too for coffee time @Former-Member, @CheerBear. Just dragging my backside out of bed for my morning coffee 😳. I have 10 minutes to still make it my morning coffee 😃.

How are you @Former-Member?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm still in bed @Teej but need to get up in shower.
I've been de-toxing from sleep meds, hard to sleep, but meds were making me feel worse. 😮😣😨
Have you been ok? ☕🍰💜

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Oops @Former-Member. It's taken me 30 min to make my coffee. I am very slow at the moment. My sleep has been horrid since trying to cut down my sleeping med use. It is so hard. My brain has left me for most the day. My son keeps saying "why did you do x" so much lately and I have to keep telling him my brain has left the station without me.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

It is hard @Teej 😙💜💕
Hard sleeping without meds, but toxic having them.
The meds were having a really bad affect on me. Memory, sight and felt REALLY cranky all the time, just awful overall.
Hard not to grab something for relief like anti anxiety med, but they just end up naking me feel worse
I understand @Teej
Unfortunately there's no magic pill.



Thinking of you @CheerBear 💟

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Feeling for you both with the medication and sleep tricky stuff @Teej and @Former-Member

You too, often Bella 💗☕💗☕
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