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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one @CheerBear@Faith-and-Hope😀👍💟 I'm out of bed, made it to couch, bypassed the laundry. 😂 Ok, now I'll get the washing down and put more on. I have my snuggle gown on. Have to make the most of it while weather is still cool. 😀😆
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning nesters. I am about to jump off the forum and into my day. It is another stunning day here in Sydney and I have a bazillion things to do. I really am feeling so much brighter at the moment...which goes to show that feelings truly do shift and change.
@Former-Member I super hope you can find some bright spots in your day today.
@CheerBear I super hope my book comes today!!!! Happy yoga day!
Remember, I am always here - even when I am not.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning @Phoenix_Rising😊
Can you please tell the weather to make it's way over here soon? It appears it can't decide what it's doing here and it's making it hard to work out what to wear!
I really hope your book comes today too. I had a look and according to the delivery times, yours should only be a day behind.
Hope you enjoy your day. It is really great to see you feeling brighter ☺ Happy yoga day!
@Former-Member - how was your Sunday? Any plans today? ☕🍰 Oooh look what I found (and have no idea how I missed before!) 🦄🦄🦄
Hi to everyone else 🌞 Hope it's a good day for you all 😊
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi everyone. 💗✋
Nice to hear you're feeling brighter @Phoenix_Rising💜 Hoping you'll enjoy your busy day.
How are you and your LF @CheerBear💟 I remember you mentioning that your LF were sick during the night on Saturday night. I hope they've all recovered and hope you're not too worn out from being up during the night.
I'm so exhausted. I've gone 3 nights without sleep meds. 😮😨 Last night I hardly slept at all. Couldn't nap just before either. Last night I had fevers. Yesterday was a home day, as usual, CheerBear, apart from a walk at the beach late afternoon.
☕
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hiya @Former-Member🙂
LF is fine now thanks and no-one else caught it thankfully! I was so tired I fell asleep way too early last night, which meant I was up at about 3:30 and didn't go back to sleep from there (I couldn't and wasn't going to fight it). I'm tired but not too bad today (yet).
That sucks so much with your sleep issues Bella. It makes things really hard. I hope you're not getting sick now as well 😞
Hope today is ok for you 💗💕
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I'm facing an enormous dilemma and I don't know what to do.
We've been offered a social housing house. It's affordable, long term (as long as we want unless I make huge $), 4 bedrooms etc.
But it's too far out from the school to make it a possibility for the LF to stay. It's even further away from the very few people we have left. We'd have to say goodbye to our fun things we've been doing as a family and I would lose the support people I have too. It would be a whole new area, new changes...
I don't have an address for it, haven't seen it and have to make a decision my tomorrow morning. It's a house though. It would be stability and affordability. But I said no to moving the LF. They need that stability, now more than ever. They're flying there and it's because of what is there for them.
I wish I knew what to do 😞
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
TeejSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Oh @CheerBear that sucks so much. Can you look at it with LF now? Talk about it with them but they know it's your choice. I can understand how hard it would be to move them. It's a huge unsettling time. But I also get how much it would mean to be able to make a long term future somewhere. I would need to go to the area and get a feel for it but that is me. I don't know about the support people. When I moved I would only stay in the same zone as the support people, I was petrified of starting again. I'm not sure what is important to you regarding this, you are much more driven and independent than I was.
My smallest shark tantrummed a lot when we moved but is happy here now. Even sharks can adjust. I think you need to do what is ultimately best for your mental health is my suggestion. Not sure if this helps or hinders.
Thinking of you💜🤗 You get tossed some massively big decisions in short time frames. 😖
In response to: I'm in a nest
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Has writing it here helped you to see more clearly what is the higher priority for you ?
One question I ask to help me make a decision is this - "If I turn this house / school / lifestyle / promotion etc down, could another one more suitable crop up in its place ?" The answer is, of course, yes ..... but it can help you to decide which option to wait on, or exchange in the hope of something just as good or better. The fear is that if you change something (school) or turn something down (house) you won't find a better one ..... but fear is not truth. It's just fear. We need to step past the fear and make a decision anyway .....
I hope this helps @CheerBear ..... 💜
In response to: I'm in a nest
TeejSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
My reason for the last comment @CheerBear is that LF might be flying but if your not coping or go under they won't fly anymore either. The thing LF need most is you being ok. I think that would be my no 1 priority from me standing on the outside looking in. It's much easier from my view though. It is not selfish to do what you need the most, it's being really responsible and giving you and LF the best chance. PS I wouldn't be able to see any of that if I was in the middle of it all. None of this is fair AGAIN.
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